Weight Loss Program

My old man calls me yesterday and tells me that my mom is in the hospital. They think she has food poisoning cause she ate some potato salad that had probably had been sitting around in the heat a little to much.

I get my mom on the phone and she says they are just giving her some fluids and that she will be fine. I told her there was some good news in this. See my mom works out a couple hours a day. I told her that with this food poisoning, it was a great weight loss program and that she's probably already lost 5 pounds. She said it was more like 10 pounds already.

I told her if that she wanted to keep it up, I suggested she get a tapeworm and she can lose a few pounds with that and have a new pet. Seems like a good idea to me, she didn't like that idea though.

Calling him out

So Phoenix is still scared shit-less cause of the killers that are on the loose here. Well not really to worried about it, some people are, but I'm not to concerned about it. But none the less, they had a news conference today to talk about it and the police chief called him out telling the killer that he's just wanted the killer to call him and that he's a coward if he won't call the police chief. I hope the chief isn't sitting by his phone around the clock, I doubt it's going to ring

The truth comes out

Alcohol is one of those things that lets people tell the truth that normally they wouldn't say when they are sober. Was that the case with Mel Gibson and his anti-semetic remarks. You be the judge





Here's Mel's mug shot. Not bad, I've seen worse

BB7 update

Mike takes himself off nomination and Janelle, the HOH, puts up Diane for eviction. Mike and Will tell Janelle they will do whatever they can to get Diane out of the house. Will they do that or won't they. Time will tell.

I'm elite

I've been invited to a very elite club, well I don't know how elite it is or if it's even a club, but I was invited to something. Will I except, I'm not sure yet. But here's the deal. The woman who gives me my pedicures has an investment club and they just disbanded it a few weeks ago cause some people weren't working to hard on it or something like that. Well she's going to start a new one and she wants me to be in it. That's what we normally talk about since I know she's into it and I can fake my why into making her think I care. It's about the only thing we can talk about cause I doubt we can talk about vagina all day.

The news is so funny

They're doing a story on the news about the Katrina aftermath and that 3 people were killed today in New Orleans. It was radio news, so that's about all they said. But they blamed it on the Katrina aftermath. Ahhhh really??? 3 people killed in New Orleans is like an every day thing, it isn't cause of Katrina. Shit that happened 8 months ago or so. Funny how news will just blame it on something that has nothing to do with what happened.

Ok, I'll admit, it was part of the Katrina aftermath since alot of people never returned to New Orleans. So if Katrina wouldn't of happened, 10 people would of died. Thanks Katrina for saving people 8 months or so after you tore New Orleans apart. Thanks.

Dear..

Dear MTV,

I want to say a early happy 25th birthday to you. To bad that you won't even be mentioning it on your own channel. To celebrate your birthday, you are having VH1 Classic show old clips and make the only mention of it. F U MTV for forgetting about what you once were, a music video channel. Now you never play videos. To think you have a video music award show for the videos you never show. Odd isn't it? Respect your history MTV, it is what put you on the map.

BB7 Results

Up for nomination is Mike and Erika.

Mike wins POV and will take himself off.

Not sure who Janelle will put up instead

Dear..

Dear ESPN,

I just can't say thanks enough to you ESPN. Every time I go on to your website I see a commercial for the new ESPN mobile service. Trey Wingo tells me how great the service is, how you can get all sorts of ESPN stuff from it. But the sad thing is, if you try to get there service, it costs $40 a month and you get a whopping 400 total minutes a month. I'm not sure what kind of customer they are trying to get with only 400 minutes a month, maybe the guy who lives in his parent's basement, who talks to no one, but loves sports.

With that great of a deal I was shocked to here that ESPN expects to only have 30,000 people signed up for that great deal. Much short of the 240,000 they estimated they would have. Ooooppss, talk about taking it in the shorts.

BB All Stars Update

Jase was shown the door and Janelle is HOH, again. This really sucks if season 6 keeps on winning.

No way

Lance Bass is coming out of the closet and is announcing he's gay. I could of told you this I knew this for a while. How you ask, well he didn't look like he was having a good time when he had a make out scene with Lucy from 7th Heaven. I know if it would of been me, I would been slapping her ass like crazy and then I would of went down the hall and started banging Mary Camden, cause she was a naughty naughty girl and would of enjoyed that. Now we don't need to get all technical on me and say that Lucy and Mary shared the same bedroom. Fuck that would of been hotter. Pound Lucy and then jump into Mary's bed. It would have to be done that way, cause Lucy wasn't a big enough freak to want second servings. Lucy was a prude.

Ok, enough about my wild ass sex fantasies about 7th heaven and back to Lance being gay. I can't believe no one saw this coming. This picture should of gave it away.




Lance, we get it, you and the flame. Ok, ha ha ha, you're flaming. Real funny Lance.

The heat!!!

I'll admit it, the heat down here sucks. It's not that it's that bad outside, it just sucks inside the store right now. I had someone stop into the store yesterday to fix the AC. It wasn't my normal guy, but I needed it done now!!! He did a half ass job and got it running for a bit. He even admited he did a half ass job and that he didn't have the right equipment to fix it, but he did get it running. So today, day 2 of no AC and it's 3pm and my regular AC guy is here working on it. I'm a ball of sweat and it's going to cost me a ton again. Ahhh life....and sweat

Dear...

Dear George Michael,

I understand that you're gay. That's fine, it wasn't that big of a surprise when you came out of the closet.

Now you've been busted in the past for getting it on in public places. You would think that you would get the hint after the first time. Do what you need to do at home. Can't find enough tail fast enough, fine post something on match.com or something that you need cock and you need it now. That way you can pick and choose what cock you want then.

I'm sure there would be good looking guys lined up around the block if you put the word out that you needed some cock. Maybe we could get you something like the bat signal. If you see a big cock in the sky, all interested gay men can line up at your place and you can get with as many of them as possible and once the cock signal is off, all the left over boys can either go home alone or with each other. Not only does the cock signal serve your cock need, it's also a hook up place. What a public service you could do George, if you could just control yourself. The problem is, you can't control your urges. Instead, you get busted in a London Park getting it on with this old guy.

Justice Rats

If it doesn't make sense to you, then it won't be funny. If it makes sense to you, then it's a riot

News Time

So this woman gives birth to a baby and tosses it in the trash. Ok, so you're with me.

They bust her ass, throw her in jail and today she was in front of the judge for her sentence. She got up in front of the judge begging for a light sentence and said she wanted to help people out. She told the judge she wanted to be a mentor to young women who might have the same thoughts as she did and also wants to inform them about how the laws work.

Ahhhhh, bitch, you killed your baby. I don't want you to mentor anyone. Go to jail and rot.

She only got 6 years in jail. How do I have a feeling that they will take care of her in jail.

How Jennifer Rolls

So last week or so Jennifer talks to me that she wants us to drop some pounds and wants us to watch what we eat. Ok, no problem.

A couple days later Jennifer yells at me for not eatting healthy. Ok, my bad. I'll take the claim.

So a couple of days ago Jennifer comes walking into the house with a surprise for me. She got me a quart, yes a quart of cold stone ice cream.

Ahhhh, that doesn't sit well with the eatting healthy thing. So I don't eat any, not that I don't want to, but I have just been to busy. Well sure enough she yells at me for not eatting any.

It all makes sense to me.

BB All Stars Update

George takes himself off the block. James then puts Jase up. So it's Will vs. Jase and I think Jase will go home.

Damn!!!

Strike 28.....you're out again...

Ok, WNBA, we get it, you tend to have a gay/lesbian crowd. We get it!!! This video proves that they go for that crowd. I don't have a problem if that's who they are going for, it's just that they deny it over and over and over. This video proves all

I'm so mean

I fired someone today. I told him it would be a 2 week trial period when I hired him and I wasn't going to waste his time or my time and I let him go after a week. He just didn't jive with anyone else that worked here, so he had to go. There were other things too, but I can't go into that here. Never had to fire anyone like this before. Oh well, sucks to be him

BB All Stars POV Results

George wins this weeks POV and for obvious reasons he will remove himself from being nominated. Not sure who James will put back up in his place. I think it will either be Jase or Boogie

BB All Star Update

Up for nomination this week is George and Will with everyone wanting George out. That plan works for me.

Insanity

So today was the first day that Cardinals tickets went on sale to the general public. They've offically sold out all season tickets and were releasing 3000 tickets for each game to the general public. So I drive a few minutes from the house to the nearest ticketmaster. Ohhhh shit, there is a huge line. Yeah, time to change plans. I book back home and get online to get the tickets. My plan is to get 2 tickets for the first regular season game at the new stadium and I also am going to try and get 8 tickets for monday night football against the bears. Well I locked in the first game tickets real easy. But the monday night game was impossible. I try for 8, none. 2 sets of 4, none, 4 sets of 2, nothing. Shit it's sold out in 15 minutes. Then I tried to get some tickets to the first ever game, preseason, for the new stadium. Nope, sold out. It's crazy how people are now Cardinals fans. Don't call me out on that, I've been to a bunch of games and since they are my local NFL team, I support them.

I'm in the wrong

Yesterday I'm sitting in the office while Jennifer is working the register. While in the office I can watch the security cams and see what's going on. So Jennifer is working with a customer. The customer places her order and Jennifer gives the lady her change. Well the woman must of asked for something extra and Jennifer walked back to the other employee and talked to her about this. That's fine and everything, except Jennifer left the cash register drawer wide open. Once I noticed this I wanted to see how long she would leave it open. After a minute or so, I finally walk up to the register, shut it, and then ask Jennifer what was the problem that happened with the last customer. After her not knowing what the problem was I told her about how the register was wide open. Jennifer said isn't wasn't a big problem, and that if it was, I should of shut it myself faster. She turned the whole thing around on me saying it was my fault for this and that.

Big Brother All Stars Results....

Nakomis is evicted by an 8-2 vote. Blah she was so annoying, so I won't miss her. Maybe annoying isn't the right term. She just didn't do anything on the show, so that's why I could care less about her. She didn't play the game or nothing, she just sat there doing nothing.

James is the new HOH this week.

I'm drenched

This is the one time of the year that I hate it here in arizona. The reason is cause it's monsoon season. There is about 50% humidity here, which doesn't sound bad, but compared to the -10% humidity we normally have, it's a difference. I can't escape being full of sweat, no matter what I do. The good news is that it only lasts a month and when that's over, it's paradise again for 11 months.

Dear....

Dear Poor Customer,

When you decide to get something and hand me your credit card, please don't get mad at me of all people when it says declined. I'm actually just on a mission to fuck you over and not give you anything. I don't want your money, so to not take it, I tell the machine to decline your ass.

Ok, so lets be honest. You don't have any money and I understand how that would suck. But then for you to pull out your temporary debit card, with no credit card logo on it, you sir are really sad. Who besides your bank will take that piece of shit??? No one!!!

Dear..

Dear Valued Customer,

I want to thank you for trying to give me exact change or something close to that. The less change that I have to give back to you, the less times I need to go to the bank. But I do have a complaint. I really don't need you to give me change and the lint from your pocket. I stopped taking pocket lint here at the store a while ago. So please keep it and give it to someone else. Oh btw, just cause I don't want you to hand it to me, that doesn't mean I want you to leave it on the counter. Ok, understand?? Thanks

I'm safe

The local and national media is blowing the shit out of the fact that 2 most likely seperate people are on a murder/rape crime spree here in Phoenix. I don't think to many people are locally worried about it, but if you check the news, holy shit, everyone is hiding and crap, I'm going to stay in the house until these crimes are solved. But wait, I can roam free, life is good, the Guardian Angels have hit the streets of Phoenix and are wearing there red beret with pride. They give me so much confidence that they will keep the streets safe.

In all honesty, there not going to catch these guys right now, why??? Cause everyone is looking for them and they want to lay low until the media heat passes and they can strike again. It sucks to say that, but it's true.

Dear...

Dear stupid fucking americans who live in lebenon,

Don't come crying to the US government cause you decided to move into a cluster fuck of a world called Lebenon. You say that we aren't getting you out of there fast enough, well unless you are working for the US government or are a family member of someone who works for the US government, then shut up. No one told you to move to that bomb crater of a country. I would think that the past actions in that country would be a big enough hint not to fucking move there.

Bottom line, don't bitch to us cause you think it's our job to get you out of trouble.

BB7 update

Erica didn't use the power of veto, so Diane and Na-suck-is, stay on the chopping block this week.

10 years later

TWA flight 800 went down 10 years ago today. Does anyone find it odd that the flight went down on the Hoff's birthday??? Crazy isn't it????

Bad TV Show

I've seen a bunch of commercials for a tv show called "pinks" and no it's not about a bunch of vagina. Basically the show is a match up of the most macho and these macho guys like to race cars. They think there cars are so fast that they will put the title of there car on the line against the other macho guy. Right there the concept sounds good. Fastest car wins right??? Well not really. So they inspect each other's car and see who's got more power and more toys. Once they do that, they negotiate how much an advantage one car has. One macho guy's car has a nitro tank while the other one has turbo. So one person will want a 10 car lead, the other person will give them 4 car lengths. They go back and forth and bitch and bitch and bitch. Basically it's a great concept for a show, but because of to much bitching it sucks. They you go, me bitching about a reality show cause there is to much bitching in it. I know, it's a first, but trust me I am feeling ok.


Here's a preview of an episode. It's not the episode that I saw, but you can see the kind of bitching that goes on during the show. BTW if this episode that is in this video was actually on, I might of liked the show. But it wasn't, so the show still sucks. It's on the Speed Channel if you want to here a bunch of gear heads cry

Happy Hoff Day

It's the Hoff's birthday. Have a Hoff'in good day.

BB7 Results-Nominations and Power of Veto Results

Diane and Nakomis are on the chopping block this week

Erica wins POV and who knows what she will do now. Will she take one of them off with the chance that they will put her up instead. Time will tell

Great Advertising....

I think it gets the point across. Isn't funny the kind of advertising they do now a days. This would of never flown back in the day. I'm old school like that. BTW they are advertising T-shirts in this ad.

Early Speculation on who's getting nominated on BB All Stars

Looks like Kaysar is going to nominate Nakomis and Diane and there plan is to take Nakomis out cause Howie doesn't think she's hot and also cause they think she's a strong player. If by strong player they mean ugly ass over tatooed crazy hair wacko, then yeah, she's a really strong player. If you mean strong player in terms of BB rules, then she sucks ass.

I pity this news!!!!

PASADENA, Calif. (AP) — Mr. T has given himself a makeover.
The former television action star shed the piles of gold chains that were his signature look after witnessing the destruction from Hurricane Katrina.

"As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again because I spent a lot of time with the less fortunate," the actor said Thursday at the Television Critics Association's summer meeting.

"I saw some, I call it 'sorry celebrities.' They'll go down there and hook up with the people to take a photo-op. I said, 'How disgusting.' If you're not going to go down there with a check and a hammer and a nail to help the people, don't go down there."



Dammit T, what r u thinking??? Before you know it, you'll be flying on a plane cause that crazy Murdock will drug you and drag you on that plane that he's flying. I pity that fool!!!

Let's look back at Mr. T's better days!!!!

Why you're a joke

Dear WNBA,

Have you ever wondered why you're a joke. It's cause you want to be considered the same as the NBA. You're not and deal with that!!!! Here is a prime example of what I mean. This is video of the WNBA all star game. During a regular NBA all star game, people play until the end and don't stand around and let the tall person sit around and try to jam the ball. In the WNBA this is what they do for fun. They let people try and dunk and it's really sad.

Recent Phone Conversation

I hate speaker phone, it's hard to hear people talk on them and everyone hears your conversation. I just hate it!!!!

So I call Jennifer last night and here's how it went. I'll cut out all the hello we did at the start of the conversation.

Me: You ok, you sound like you're crying

Jennifer: No I'm not crying, it's just cause I put you on speaker phone

Me: So you have me on speaker phone right now

Jennifer: yeah

Me: So do you want to fuck tonight?

Jennifer hangs up

Big Brother All Stars Results

Up for elimination is Danille and Allison.

Allison is eliminated by a vote of 8-2. I'll miss her cause she's a whore and I think she would of slept with someone to win. Well she's done the BB show 2 times and has done the Amazing Race. I hope to stroke her ego she will do Playboy next cause I'd buy it. I really would!!!


Oh btw, Kaysar is the new HOH and that kind of sucks cause the BB6 people need to be eliminated.

Gets no love

Talk about a great song and a great video that gets no love. Well the song isn't his best, but it gets no love. He never does this song in concert probably. Shit, it doesn't get any radio love either. So I'm going to give it some love.

Playing "that" card

A couple of days ago I told my manager something I have never said to her. I told her that I think one of the customers likes me. The customer always is going out of her way to track me down, talk to me, and the such. I told her who it was and my manager said that she would keep an eye out for it. Even one of my other employees agreed with me. Since I've never said this kind of thing before, I told her I was being serious. Trust me, I'm ok with this idea, cause she's cute, girl next door kind of look.

Well sure enough she stops into the store today and she gets her food. While she was here I was out talking to another customer that I know. My manager was also there too, since this customer we were talking to are like friends and they have a baby and such. So the customer that likes me is walking out the door and puts her hand on my back and says, "See you later Chris"

Awwwww fuck, how crazy was that. Well at least see isn't sending me mixed signals or anything.

Big Brother All Stars Power of Veto Ceremony

Hey why not ruin the tv show for you or just save you time so you don't have to watch it. Janelle has the power of veto and doesn't use it. Danielle and Allison are still up for eviction. Allison will be the first to go!!!!!!!!

Screwed!!!! No one cares!!!

One of my employees today took a counterfit bill and once the people that gave us the bill gave us the cash, they high tailed out the door. So I call the police and I tell them that they are heading down the street a certain way and this and that. They say they will be right over. The police get to the store and they honestly could care less about it. Since it's only $20 they aren't going to go after the person and they tell me they don't even think secret service will care since it's such a small ammount. So bottom line is this. If it's fake, don't let anyone know and pass it off to another person. Fuckers!!!!

No Love

Shit I sent out like 10 different emails to people recently about al sorts of different things. Guess what, I got no email love from anyone and have heard nothing. Shit I must be really hated or something. Damn!!!!

BB7 Update

Janelle wins Veto compitition and most likely won't use it. The tide has swung towards eliminating Ali. I'll cry if she does cause she would whore out to win it.

Big Brother All Stars Results

HOH: Jase and Janelle

Up for Nomination: Danielle and Allison


I think Danielle will be the first one out cause right from the start she is lying to everyone and getting caught. The key to the show is to lie and not get caught.

No Way!!!

This is some in depth investigative reporting:


A new study confirms a substantially increased risk of thyroid cancer among people exposed to radiation during childhood and adolescence after the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear accident.

A total of 13,127 of the 32,385 individuals living in the most contaminated area of the Ukraine during the nuclear plant meltdown and who were under 18 at the time were screened between 1998 and 2000, Dr. Geoffrey R. Howe of Columbia University in New York and colleagues report. They found that 45 cases of thyroid cancer occurred compared with 11.2 cases that would have been expected in the absence of radiation exposure. Plus, the higher the dosage of radioactive iodine, the greater the thyroid cancer risk.




No way, I thought living there would be good for you. Well I'll have to call the realator and cancel the move

Important Message From My Mother

Get a call today from my mom, she says it is important. She needs a favor. I tell her ok, what is it. She needs me to vote for Chris Capuano for the All Star game. Honestly mom, do you need to call me in the middle of lunch for this??? She must of thought it was that important, cause she did.

Big Brother All Stars Twist

So the big twist this year is that you have 2 head of household and usually the HOH is the person who gets to decide who will go up for eviction, but not this year. With the 2 HOH, they must both decide who they will nominate for eviction. If the 2 of them can't decide, then the 2 HOH will go up for eviction.

This week's 2 HOH are Jase and Janelle.

Big Brother All Stars Contestants!!!

14 people in the house instead of 12.

So, who is in the CBS Big Brother 7 All Star house?

Here's the list

Howie
Janelle
Kaysar
Dr. Will
Mike Boogie
Chicken George
Diane
Danielle
Erika
Jase
James
Marcellas
Nakomis
Alison


Will be good. There is another twist in the show and I'll post about that later!!!

Star Wars Geeks!!!

Star Wars Geeks Unite!!!! Please watch this video and pass it on to your favorite SW geek. I'm one of the geeks, I can say it then. Honestly though, if you think about it, this band will never be heard from again, in most likely hood. So what a way to be remembered. I'll never forget!!!!!

Happy 4th of July

Lets be honest, has the flag ever looked better????

Fireworks Safety

Please be safe with fireworks his holiday season

Better Late Then Never...

My NBA Draft review.....

Didn't care cause the Bucks didn't have a 1st round pick and the Suns dumped there 2 1st round picks for cash. Yawn..........

Best Hoff Video EVER!!!!

If you ever doubted how incredible the Hoff is, this will pretty much explain it all. Please watch until the end.

My Luck.....

So yesterday I went and got my hair cut, it was way overdue. Jennifer finally gave in and let me go to the place that I like to go to to get my hair done. It's about a half hour away, but it's worth it since they get it done right. It's a laid back family type place. At each station they have a tv station and some of them had fox news on, some had on poker, one even had cartoons on for a kid getting his hair cut. But not with my guy, as soon as I sat down, a new show came on and it's the show I hate more then anything else, Law and Order. Fuck I hate that show and of course Jennifer loves it more then anything. Plus the good thing for Jennifer is that at any given time, one of the Law and Order shows is on some channel. Law and Order is killing me.

Dear...

Dear guy walking out of the bathroom while I'm walking into it,

I guess I should thank you for not stinking up the place. That's always a good start. But I do have to question you about a something. I'm ok with the fact that you left the seat up, it's a mens restroom and that's exceptable. But the problem I do have with you is the fact that you didn't flush the toliet. Was it to much to push the lever and flush it??? Must of been. Is this something you would do at home??? Maybe he was trying to save the hot water for someone that was in a shower a few streets over.


Don't worry, I flushed the toilet for you. It took a ton of energy, but I did it.