Getting through to the kids

I feel really sad for Kirk Cameron. See he was a teen heart throb back in the day. Now he's into religion and I'm ok with that, but this video isn't the way to get religion across to kids.

Ring Ring.....New Phone

I've waited the last month for this day and it's finally here. I got my new phone, here it is:


It's the new SLVR phone. It's thinner then the RAZR and it can hold Itunes and has a video camera in it too. Ahhh life is good. I would of got it yesterday, the first day I could get it, but my smoking hot cingular employee wasn't working yesterday so I couldn't stop in. See she is so smoking hot she won the first annual hottest customer contest and that's why I just had to see her. Plus they all have business cards there and they have there work email on there, so now I know her email address.

Out of control!!!!

I'm walking into the store this morning, it's 7:15am and a car pulls up next to me and someone gets out of it. I think to myself it's someone who wants some directions. Nope, they didn't want directions, they wanted to give me direction. They were Jahovah Witnesses and they wanted to give me there pamplet and make me learn about there thoughts. Silly kids, but damn, tracking me down that early in the morning. They don't mess around. I could never do the Jahovah thing no matter what, they don't do christmas, so screw that.

Sweet Lord Jesus!!!!!

Holy shit, this is why I love the NFL draft. If you would of told me a month ago that the Arizona Cardinals would of drafted Matt Leinart, I would of told you that you're a fucking idiot and you need to shut the fuck up. The thing is that they got him and I couldn't be happier. Ahhh, now I'm really going to have to buy season tickets for next year. Leinart, Edgerian James, and a new stadium. Shit, seems like a good enough reason to me.

Late Night Munchies

So I try calling the local pizza place. The flyer that we have says they are open till 11 on friday and it's 10:15, so I should be fine. I call and let it ring and ring and ring. Nothing!!!! Hmmm, they must be getting bombed, so I'll just drive down there, place my order and wait. I go down there and sure as shit, they close at 10pm on a friday. 10pm on a friday, u gotta be kidding me!!!!

So I head back home and will look through the freezer and get something to eat from there. I stick my head in the freezer and see a ice cream sandwich box, it's empty. I see a drumstick box, it's empty. I see another drumstick box, empty again. I see a third drumstick box, fuck it's empty too. Damn you jennifer for not cleaning out the freezer.

Quiz Time

Who has more time on there hands? The people who made this video or me for finding it???

Fools....

The Houston Texans are fools. They aren't going to take Reggie Bush with the #1 pick in the NFL. This will come back and haunt them, trust me. Reggie is a very special player and the texans are going all cheap and stuff and aren't taking him. This makes or breaks franchises and once again, the Texans are broken

Worst Packer Draft Picks

Ok, so here's the deal. It's modern time, meaning, I need to remember them being picked, so no one from 1957 or stuff like that. Also, the further in the draft they are, the more slack they get. So I won't bust on a 7th round pick who did nothing, he's 7th round, not 7th pick

10) Chucky Webb-If you're always hurt in college, it's a good bet that you will always be a hurt player in the NFL
9) Craig Newsome-Just a bad CB that the packers stretch at with there picks.
8)Vinnie Clark-See #9
7)Wayne Simmons-LB that never did anything
6)Ahmad Carroll-Who???? See #9
5)Terrell Buckley-Big ego player, never developed into the player he said he was going to be.
4)John Michels-Bad Tackle who never was pure crap
3) Antwan Edwards-Barely smelled the NFL, the packers really reached when they picked him. Just another CB that they waste there pick on
2) Tony Mandarich-The incredible bulk, well he was incredible while he was on roids. Tony the turstile was a service-able back up
1) Darrell Thompson-Shit did he suck. But the story behind this pic is what makes him the worst pick of all time. See the packers were all ready to take a different player with the 18th or 19th pick of the draft, they had both. They had his name written down, except a team jumped in front of them and picked the player that the packers were going to pick. So instead the packers made a desperation pick and grabbed University of Minnesota's Thompson, cause all he has ever done is play inside on turf, a good combination for the frozen tundra of lambeau field. Thompson did nothing in his career for the packers, but then again no one did any rushing for the pack for a long time. Oh yeah, that player that got taken right in front of the packers, some guy named Emmitt Smith.

Free weekend!!!!

Jennifer left town today to go to a family reunion, so I'm home alone for the weekend. Hmmmm, what should I do??? I can think of a few things and they probably involve hookers and strippers. Would be nice, but in all honesty I'll probably just sit at home with the dogs and watch the NFL draft. Keep an eye out for my draft special that will either be posted later tonight or tomorrow. It's a real special report. Keep an eye out for it.

Vacation Plans

I think I will be going here for vacation. That or Dollywood. I haven't made the final decision yet.

Early Christmas Present Wish List

Yes this is what I want for Christmas!!!!

When Old Lady Attacks!!!!

Short and Sweet

Comedy

You either get the Jimmy Kimmel Show and think it's really funny, or you don't get it and it makes no sense to you and you don't watch it.

This is what makes the show really funny. You don't see this kind of stuff on any of the other late night tv shows

I smell

I couldn't figure out why I smelled, but I noticed it was really bad. It was like a real bad BO smell. It just didn't make any sense. I went down the BO check list. Had my Degree on, had on clean clothes, wasn't sweating bad. What was making me smell??? I finally figured out that it was only my hands that smelled bad. What could of made them smell like this I wondered??? It was the hand soap from a restaurant bathroom that I went to. Having a soap that smells like that will convince people to not was there hands there when they are done going to the bathroom.

Worst Show Ever!!!

Perhaps the worst show of all time was this Celebrity Cooking Showdown. It took V-List celebrities and had them doing some cooking. These so called celebrities would then get a special pro chef assist every few minutes. It tanked so bad in the ratings that NBC pulled it mid week and burned off the rest of the shows on saturday night. The worst part of the show is how they chose the winner of the show. The winner was chosen by the viewers, cause just seeing what they did would mean that the viewer should know who had the best items. See when you're doing a cooking show the most important thing is to be able to taste the items, which didn't happen by the viewers. It was just stupid to let the viewers pick the winners by site alone. Stupid!!!!

Dear....

Dear Charlie Sheen,

Please Charlie, don't look at this kind of stuff in front of the kids. Here's the story:

Richards' Shocking Allegations Against Sheen:

TMZ has learned that Denise Richards' lawyer went to court Friday, alleging that her estranged husband Charlie Sheen has threatened her and that his alleged pornography and prostitution habits have put their children at risk.

In the documents, filed Friday in Los Angeles Superior Court, Richards alleges that Sheen pushed her, shoved her and threatened to kill her. Richards also claims in her declaration that Sheen made threats against her parents.

Richards says that during their reconciliation last September, she discovered Sheen was visiting websites with "very young girls, who looked underage to me, with pigtails, braces, no pubic hair, performing oral sex with each other."

Oh BTW Charlie, what's the name of those sites that you're looking at. I....ahhhh a friend of mine wants to know.

Brewers I Dislike.....or Brewers that didn't do shit for the team while they played for them

It seems like everyone has there own Brewer that they think stunk it up, so here's my list of top ten Brewers that really disappointed once they put on the Brew Crew Uniform:

10) Ron Robinson: Super nice guy, had dinner with him, he showed me his Reds World Series Ring, I have his uniform and cleats. But after that half season where he was 13-1 when he came over from the Reds, he stunk it up for the next 3 years. Barely pitching in any games during those 3 years. He was hurt and took the Brewers for a good amount of cash.

9) Glendon Rusch-Man did he stink it up as a Brewer. Oh that and he was traded for one of the Brewers most popular players at the time, Jeremy Burnitz. A combined 17-28 record as a Brewer. One season he was 1-12 for the team. Not good.

8) Dante Bichette-Dante was good, just not as a Brewer. Whose idea was it to try and have Dante play third base??? That was a bad idea

7) Julio Machado-Julio wasn't that bad. He just never lived up to his potental after he killed someone in Columbia or some South American country.

6) Joey Meyer/Bilyl Jo Robeniux-Trust me, they are both the same player. Overweight DH's that were supposed to crush the ball. To bad they never did.

5) Teddy Higuera-We were supposed to have out own Fernado-mania with Teddy. He was good, then got his fat contract and couldn't pitch a lick anymore. F Him!!!!

4) Pat Listach-1992 Rookie of the Year. Shouldn't of won it, but that's a whole different thing. He was supposed to be fast as lightning, but broke down and never really did anything after that.

3) Jeffery Hammonds-He had 1 good year playing for Colorado and the Brewers thought he could have the same power for them. Well even I could hit 40 home runs playing at Coors Field. He patrolled center field for the Brewers in between times on the DL. Sucked the Brew Crew dry for like 18 Million. Yikes!!!!

2) Franklin Stubbs-Had 1 good year also like Hammonds, did nothing, just like Hammonds, and was out of baseball a little bit after his contract with the Brewers was up. He was terrible. Imagine what could of been if the Brewers would of used there on someone useful in the 91-92 years. They could of went to the playoffs again

1) Gary Sheffield-Fuck I hated him as a Brewer and hated him even more when I found out he admitted he would tank plays on purpose so they would trade him. Plus that whole Ricky Bones and Jose Valentine players they got in return for him really didn't do shit for the team.

Honorable Mentions:

Rick Manning
George Canale
Jeff D'Mico-Ben Sheets is supposed to be the next D'Mico, ahhh that's not good


I'm sure I missed some crap-tacular players, so feel free to add on your least favorite Brewer

My Dream Team

Well this would of been my dream team 5 years ago. Talk about 2 rockin hard bodies, Britney and Topanga from "Boy Meets World"

See they would of made such a good 3 way combo. Britney with the rocking body and Topanga with the great body and nice knockers.

Now look at them, yes this is them together shopping. So the good news is that they are friends and maybe a 3 way could happen. But they would have to get back to there old looks

Freedom

Finally I have been set free. Free from what you ask, it's that damn ingrown toenail that has been driving me crazy for the past 3 months. Imagine having a sharp pain at all times in your toe, that's what it was. Some days it was almost impossible to walk. But finally I have been cured. After getting pedicures every 2 weeks, my toe has been healed. Lori, my pedicurist, pulled out that little hook nail yesterday and I haven't felt this good in a long time. Ahhh, relief

Baby Time

Well the bad news is that Katie Holmes really did have a baby with Tom Cruise. Not really sure that it's Tom's baby, but we will probably never know if it is his. The good news is that we do know that Katie likes to screw so there is always a chance.

Couple days ago Jennifer told me that one of the dogs wasn't eatting and this is the dog that always eats a ton. So she was a little concerned and told me to keep an eye on the dog. When I got home that night, the dog was happy and bouncing around, so needless to say I wasn't concerned anymore. The next morning I woke up and lifted up the covers on the bed to check on the dog and when I looked at her for a bit, I noticed she didn't seem like she was breathing, so then I really started freaking out. I moved her around and she just looked at me like WTF are you doing? Once again, she was ok.

Who I Hate in Baseball

Here's a top 10 list of who I hate in baseball and why:

10) Teddy Higuera-Bitch took a bunch of money from the Brewers and did nothing for them after getting that contract.

9) Rick Manning- Yeah he store Dennis Eckersly's wife, but I won't hold that against him. What I will hold against him is the fact that the Brewers traded away there most popular player at the time, Gorman Thomas, for that piece of shit Rick Manning.

8) Joey Meyer/Billy Jo Robineux-Yeah they really are one in the same. Shitty over weight DH's. They were supposed to be the next big hitters for the Brewers. They weren't.

7) Ricky-Yes you Ricky Henderson. No one loved themself more then you did. Ricky loves Ricky and no one else. Treated his team mates like shit and only cared about the one he loves, Ricky.


6) Erubio Durazo-The Diamondbacks say hey Erubio, we like the way you swing the stick, we want you to play outfield so we can get you some more at bats. Erubio says nah, I like playing first base and I'll sit on my ass and do nothing instead of being a team player.

5) George Brett-Yeah he's a HoF'r but the thing is, no one was a bigger dick to people then him. I sat my ass down at County Stadium for 2 summers and that fool would never sign anything. He would barely acknowledge that anyone was alive.

4) Gary Shefield-He would tank games on purpose so he could force a trade. Plus my favorite Shef story is his rookie year and he shows up at County Stadium with a gold colored Mercedes. He caught so much shit from that and it lead to a downward spiral with his Brewers career. Remember this was when the Brewers were a blue collar team and he caught so much heat from them for being an ego freak. FYI, he later sold that car to Jaime Navarro

3) Franklin Stubbs-Shit, talk about someone who had 1 good year and got paid for it, well that's Franklin. He took the Brewers for a ton of cash and did nothing. Funny how his uniform number was 0, that's what he did for them, zero!!!

2) Sammy Sosa-Cheater who likes to speak english only when he is getting paid for a commercial. In front of congress, no speak english!!!!!

1) Barry Bonds-ahhhhh he's a cheating bitch. Do I really need to explain this choice, but he was nice enough to take a picture with me back in 93. But bitch is so driven to be the best that he will go down as one of the most hated.

Yeah I'll admit it....

yeah, I like pop music and of course I love my Britney. This is perhaps my favorite video of hers. The interesting thing about this song is that this song is about getting it on with a married man. You trying to tell me something Brit???? If you listen to it knowing that fact, it makes a little more sense.

My true calling...

I think I should of been a news producer. It's nights like these where I could rock. Ok, what can we talk about that will kill about the first 6 minutes of the newscast. Ummmm, we will set someone up at the post office to cover people dropping off there taxes at the last minute. Ok, that's 3 minutes, so now we will do a story about how high the gas prices are. Sweet. The news is almost over!!!!

Tax Time

Got my taxes finally done today. They were done this weekend, but my state had to be mailed in and since I don't have a working printer at home, I had to wait til today to print it out. The good news is that I won't be paying in this year, I'm getting money back. I let Jennifer take all the big write offs so she could get a ton back, and it worked. She cleaned up big time. I'm already planning ways to spend her money, but it's for the greater good, so it's ok to do that. New landscaping here we come!!!!

Movie Review

Went and saw Failure to Launch this weekend and let me say this, it's the most predictable movie you will ever see. Once you understand the plot, you can predict what happens and leave and go see another movie. Other then the lack of plot development, I had 2 major issues with the movie.

1) They show Terry Bradshaw's ass in the movie. It's not something I want to see and they pull the Austin Power's move and hide showing his dong behind props.

2) I have issues with Sarah Jessica Parker. She has got some serious man hands. Holy shit they are man hands. They are huge and have huge veins on them. Plus I also expect Sarah to just bust out "We're not going to take it" by Twisted Sister at any moment. She looks exactly like Dee Snider. She's just plain scary and "No, she aint gonna take it!!!!!"

New Clerks 2 Trailer

Trip down memory lane....

Here's an old post of mine:

Monday, December 26, 2005
Tea Baggin

Had some customer, who had never been in store before, stop in and wanted some sandwiches and wanted some Ice Tea. I told him it wasn't fresh brewed and that it was out of the soda machine. He was shocked that we didn't have fresh tea and that he didn't want anything to drink and that he would never come back here ever again. He told me he owned bars and restaurants all his life and that 90% of people in arizona drink tea. Well I told him we had one there in the past and we wasted a bunch of it, in reality we never had a fresh tea machine. I then told him we put that machine in to give people more variety. He told me that people wanted the frest tea and that it should be put in. I told him to tell me what drink should be taken off the machine. He didn't have an answer. But he did say that he sends in 50 people here a night and that he'll tell them all to never come in again. See the thing is, he owns this club that is way behind me and no one from there ever comes over since they don't really get going till after we are closed. Oh that and the fact that the place changes owners every year cause it goes belly up. But he's been in this business for his whole life. Well when that place closes down it will be cause he didn't serve tea I guess. If I would of known exactly which place he owned, at the time when he came in I didn't know, I would of said, lets see who's in business in a year, cause I know it will be me. But hey, he's the one that's been doing it all his life.

Oh BTW if you want the tea so bad, put it in your club since everyone at your bar, well 90% of the people there will drink. Fuck why not just open a place that serves tea and only tea. Watch out starbucks, I got the new thing, a tea place. Shit, I'll have 90% of everyone in Arizona stopping in for a drink, well as long as it's fresh brewed. I'll be a zillionaire!!!!!


Now back to today, april 14th, and sure enough the place is closed. It's been closed for over a week. I guess the bitch should of served iced tea. Cause he knows what he's talking about and all that shit. Fucking idiot. I win the contest of who will be open longer. I rule!!!!!

I rock...

Spent $20 on the lottery and won $11. That's a 55% return on my investment and considering that it's the lottery I think I did really good. Lottery, it's the best scam ever and that's why I love it. No where else can you give someone $20 and have them give you back $11 and you feel really really good. Gotta love life!!!!

Carmen Electra riding sybian

If you didn't go to the dark side and get Sirius, here is what you are missing. Granted seeing is much much better then hearing it:

Dear...

Dear Carls Jr or Hardees, depending on where in the country you are,

It's great how you guys did this advertising campaign talking about how you have this great $6 burger that isn't $6. It's supposed to be as good as the $6 burger you get at a restaurant, just not the hassle of the restaurant, like a fridays or applebees. It's a great burger, don't get me wrong, but the problem is, you proclaim that you are giving everyone a great deal and aren't we lucky.

See the $6 burger isn't $6 like they claim, it's $5.75. Wow, you save .25, but you don't get the good service or the fries with it. Damn them

Dear.....

Dear Stupid Home Owner,

People build houses anywhere down here. If there is land in Phoenix, they will build there. So we have a air force base here, actually we have a huge air force base here, it's the largest f-16 base in the world. One of my friends is a pilot there, he told me that if you took the planes from just that base and made it a country, they would have the 5th largest air force in the world. Funny isn't it.

So back to my story......

Well an F-16 went down today, it happens once every few years. The news had to jump on it and cover it, and sure enough the people that live right on top of the base are angry and say that they are concerned for there lifes and blah blah blah. Ummmm, some advice to these home owners, are you fucking crazy, you knew the base was right there, they do 170 flights out of there daily. You knew that things like this could happen. Just cause you got your cheap house there (can't understand why it was so cheap???), doesn't mean you can bitch and moan because of the assumed risk you took for getting such a deal on that house.

Dear...

Dear fat guy wearing the tiger shirt,

Dear tiger guy, we will keep it short for this, please don't put on a shirt that has a huge tiger in a jungle. See the thing is, it's a large tiger, almost life like, and I should never be afraid that someone's shirt is actually going to jump out and get me. See when you're a big guy, like me, they try to pawn crazy ass shirts off on you. It's really sad, but this guy walked into a store at one point and said, "I need a giant tiger jumping out of my chest, yes, that will get me laid"

Shit the crap they try to pawn on us is real sad. I don't need no animal shirts, no stretchable pants or shirts, or any other clothes that no one that is normal size would wear. Please use common sense.

Hot Fun

Hot weather is finally here in Phoenix. Nothing to crazy, but give it a little time. Most people bitch about how miserable it gets here in the summer. But I love the hot weather. Now granted, I like it for other reasons. See the thing is, when it gets hot here, women wear less clothes and wear shirts there show there nice chest. Well when they go to sign there credit card receipt, they show me them. And I see some real nice ones. But if they are unsavory, I turn my head until they are done.

Dear....

Dear Charity Car Wash People......

Don't put your dumpy looking girl on the corner with the car wash sign. No one wants to see that person shake her laughy taffy. Also don't put the 8 year old boy on the corner, once again, no one wants to see him. Please put the teen girl in the bikini on the corner shaking it and the sign too. It worked for the girls in "Bring It On" so it's gotta work for everyone else.

I really feel bad for those car wash people that don't position there people in the right places. They won't make money for whatever charity they are washing for.

I love videos like this

You are not the father video!!!!! Stay tuned till the end

New at the store

I put this in the womens bathroom. I'm thinking about putting it the mens bathroom. I've gotten great feedback from people on them so far. Pump Hoff and get soap, real easy to do.

Dear...

Dear Better Then You Customer,

I don't need you to talk to me like this. I'm not a fucking retard. I can understand you speaking. Just cause you don't know what you want doesn't mean that I'm the idiot. I treat you like you're important, please treat me with a little courtsey.

Yikes

Now this would make a crazy ass porn. Britney and midgets. Holy shit, the world would explode if it happened

Lost Funny Videos

The first video is a promo video that was done for Lost that the ABC people thought was a little to out there.




Now here's a KFC Commercial from Hawaii

Next Week's Lost

Here's the canadian promo for next week, gives better details the US promo

I'll make you go blind

Either I'll make you go blind with this story or this story will make you go gay.

You've been warned, so if you don't trust me, venture on by clicking here

I'm a dick

So one of my employees is a token employee. He only has a job here cause he's related to my manager, but even she can't stand him. He's super slow and just plots around. He will do what he's told, in between smoke breaks, but it just takes forever for him to get it done. Well sure enough he comes to me and says he is giving me his 2 weeks notice. Oh really??? Yeah, somehow I have a feeling I will be excepting his resignation effective tomorrow. I'm such a dick, but I'm done with this charity project.

#1

If you're going to be known for a bad thing, why not be the worst of the worst. That way you can say you're #1!!!!!

According to the National Insurance Crime Bureau, the cities with the most stolen cars are:

1) Phoenix-Mesa, Arizona
2) Fresno, California
3) Modesto, California
4) Stockton-Lodi, California
5) Las Vegas, Nevada
6) Miami, Florida
7) Sacramento, California
8) Oakland, California
9) Seattle-Bellevue-Everett, Washington
10) Tacoma, Washington

Why did they do it???

So Eminem and his wife are getting divorced after only being married for 2 months. This is the second time they have been married. To get a divorce that quickly, some crazy ass shit had to go down, cause usually you have a little tolerance when it comes to people and you can usually put up with things for a while. But not them, it's so bad they just gotta end it now.

So Jennifer and I were watching the news and that story came up. The reporters are like they are getting divorced after only being married 63 days. I tell Jennifer that I can't believe they only made it 2 months. She says they didn't make it 2 months, they made it 63 days. "That's 2 months," I tell jennifer. She says that that is not what the reporters said and that it isn't 2 months. I tell her whatever. After realizing I'm annoyed with her, she does her stupid little cackle that I hate and she says she was just goofing around. Fuck I hate that cackle, it's so annoying.

Alien Porn

I normally don't post porn on here since you never know who will be reading this, but this shit is to crazy to not link. Here it is, alien porn. I'm sorry about that and no I didn't search that out, someone sent it to me.

Dear.....

Dear American Idol audience member who brings the creative signs,


Please don't bring anymore signs for Mandisa and if you do, please don't encourage her. Yeah you may want her to win, but please don't bring signs for her that say "Man-Diva" cause this will only encourage her to look and act the way she does. Don't think I'm being all mean and shit, she's a big girl and she shouldn't be letting certain body parts hang out like they do. She needs to put some more clothes on, put a tent on or something. I can say these things cause I'm a big boy and I think I have a better idea then her on how to dress. I may be big, but I don't go around letting everyone see my body either.

Now if you do want to take some signs and encourage her, take ones that say stuff like "Go Mandisa Go" "You're my american idol mandisa" or signs like "Man-a-tee" or "Man o Man that ass"

Clean the screen...

Please clean your screen after you jerk off watching this

He didn't fall for it

A different friend of mine stopped into the store today to grab some food and take it to the hospital since his wife was in labor and was going to give birth to there second child, Mia. I told him since it was going to take a few more hours and since this was his second one, that we should go over to the strip joint for a little bit and pass the time there instead of hearing his wife scream. He declined. It would of been fun though.

FU Frenchie

Ok, so if I understand this correctly, kids in france are protesting all over the place cause they don't like how labor laws are going to change there. See currently it's almost impossible to fire someone within the first 2 years of them working for you. They want to change it so you can be fired easier and the kids are angry about the change.

Well frenchie quit being so fucking lazy. You wonder why france isn't considered an economic power like the US, China, Japan, the UK, and Germany. See the thing is, we work here, we aren't some fucking lazy stinky fucks.

I emailed one of my friends today and told him that a mutual friend of ours is pregnant. He emailed me back wondering if it was mine. I reminded him that he soiled her with his taint, not me. That shut him up pretty good.

How sad is it that I have the AC running in the house right now. It's so nice outside at night right now. Perfect temp, perfect ammount of humidity. This is why I love it here. Everyone that isn't from here that moves here proclaims how much they love it and that they will never leave. The locals say it sucks here and they want to leave. I guess they don't know how good it is until they leave.

At the car wash, whoa whoa whoa at the car wash babe

I took the truck over to the car wash today to get all the dirt off of it from the recent rain. While I was there I talked to the car wash attendant and asked him why the police were at the car wash a few weeks ago. The car wash was completely police taped off and there was a serious investigation going on.

Well the car wash attendant told me that the other guy that works there found some human skull and brain in the car wash. So they called the police and had them come over and check it out. CSI Chandler got all crazy and investigated the place and found some more random brain in the rinse area.

The police searched the hospitals and found no one who was admitted with any hit and run love. So what we have here is an unsolved mystery.......

Here's the wierd part. The car went through the auto wash area. Now if I just hit someone and I wanted to make sure it was cleaned off, I would of went to the do it yourself area and made sure it was cleaned off.

Dear....

Dear Old Guy at the Bank,

Just cause you're old doesn't give you a pass to skip pass the rest of the people in line. The tellers told you to get in line 2 times and you just got in line behind the person they were helping, not getting behind everyone else that was waiting there. Being old doesn't give you a go directly to go card. Thanks for your effort old guy, but I'm paying for you to survive since you wanted to cash that government check of yours, most likely social security that I paid for.



Dear Guy who wants an application,

What's the one time of the day you shouldn't come into a restaurant and want peoples attention, it's during lunch. On your resume you state you have work restaurant jobs, well then you should know when not to come in. Unfortunitly you're stupid and have now been disqualified and won't make it to round 2.

Catching up

In case you missed lost from a few weeks ago, you can catch up with it here. Or if you want to watch a cartoon, you'll enjoy this.

Lost Preview

Here's the preview for Lost next week from Canadian TV. It's totally different then the US preview. Fucking canadians.

My March Madness

Yeah it's April, get over it.

Got 1 team left in my bracket, UCLA and I have them winning it, so bitches better win.

But I have my own kind of bracket going here at the store. It's the "Chicks I Like" tournament. The brackets are divided into 3 areas, the "Exotic" women area, the "Girl Next Door" area, and the "Manly/Boy-ish features" area (meaning they are either a little manly or are flat chested ie: look like a little boy. The best part about this tournament is that the crew helps me decide who should win and we debate why they should win. I was shocked by who I had winning the whole thing. It was the girl that works at Cingular that stops in every once in a while. She came out of the manly area, she's not really manly, but she is a little thick, probably was a soccer player in school. But she's damn hot and she's going to make sure I get a new phone on April 29. I'm counting down the days until it.

Funny 2 Me

So the running joke, well not really joke, but commentary in the family is that I'm the best driver in the family and they can all feel safe with me when I drive. I make sure everyone knows it. It's been 12 years since I have had a moving violation. I take serious pride in it and make fun of everyone elses not so steller driving record.

Well I called my mom today, april fool's day, and told her I got a ticket the night before for going 46 in a school zone. She started screaming at my old man as if to cheer that I got a ticket and that they will never have to hear it from me again. She was really excited about it and then she goes on to say that it takes alot for me to admit my ticket to her. I'm dying of laughter right now cause she is making such a scene over it. We hang up and I haven't told her the truth. 15 minutes go by and she calls up again to say how proud she is of me to tell her about this. I tell her I plan on fighting the ticket, just so I can get it cheaper. Another hour goes by and I call her back and she's still on cloud 9 since she will never have to hear about my driving record. At this point I finally tell her it's all a joke and she's so pissed off that she fell for it and I yelled at her saying I'm a great driver and things like that will never happen and she is stupid for thinking I could get a ticket.

I've been waiting forever to pull this prank on her since this is my schtic with them and I let them all know how unsafe of drivers they are.

My day was made and it went down hill from there.