New Years Eve Bore

I'm not one for celebrating the new year. I'm not a drinker, not really a partier since I hate people, so to me new years eve is nothing to special to me. Most of the time when the new years rings in I'm usually asleep. Well that will probably happen again this year, then again, maybe not. But one thing I can guarantee that I won't be doing is watching ESPN2 when they do there version of a countdown. Dammit ESPN, quit trying to be something your not. Your not an entertainment channel, you're a sports channel. What are you going to do that would make me want to even thing of watching that big moist dump you plan on taking ringing in the new year. Maybe they will have some crazy NBA highlights that I could care less about. Maybe they will have Z list celebrities show up. One thing I do what they will have going on is Stewert Scott will be hosting it. I FUCKING HATE HIM!!!!! He's so annoying. $10 says that when the clock strikes midnight, Stu will say BOOOO YAAAAAA 2005, BOOO YAAAAA 2006!!!!!!!!

Bowl Higlights

Watched my first bowl game of the year, the Holiday Bowl, Oregon vs. Oklahoma. Going into the game Oregon bitched that they got shafted out of a BCS game and that they should of been in there, blah blah blah. Oregon needs to learn from history and know that last year California was in the same bowl and they also bitched that they got screwed out of a BCS game. Well wouldn't you know it, the PAC 10 team got beat again, just like last year. Texas Tech rolled up California last year and this year Oklahoma rolled up Oregon. It was a tight game until the end, so maybe they didn't roll them up, but they still beat them. Don't bitch PAC 10 teams, you all suck unless your name is USC.

BTW the holiday bowl did a great job with making the teams feel at home. In most bowl games, the end zones are colored for the teams that are playing there. But not with the holiday bowl, they went way out there and just had the words "San Diego" written in the endzones. Don't give me the BS saying that the San Diego chargers have a home game this weekend and that's why it was done that way. That's just BS. Yeah they have a home game this weekend, but they could clean it up. Trust me I've seen it done. I've seen them clean up Sun Devil Stadium end zones from having a college game saturday night and have a new end zone design for the NFL game the next day. San Diego, you are cheap!!!!!

I'm Ghetto

Yeah I'll admit I'm ghetto, but you might want to use this ghetto tip that I use. My nose is really broken out right now, more oily then anything. So since I'm so ghetto and I can't throw on a biore strip in the middle of the day and let it dry. Wouldn't really look to good. Well what am I supposed to do??? I get all ghetto and bust out the poor mans biore strip, clear tape. I know that's not the exact name of the tape, it's not duct, it's not scotch, it's the clear stuff. I just throw on a piece on my nose, let it sit for a few seconds and then remove. Hey it works and it gets the job done in the middle of the day.

What do you see???

You know how there are people out there that will see Jesus in a tree or the Virgin Mary in toast. Well I've had one of those visions. The only problem is that I didn't see anything quiet as spectacular as that, but it's definitly something. I opened some butter up and sure enough what did I see......
















I know what it is and I'm sure you know what it is. Aren't you amazed??? I know you are thinking I should sell it on ebay, but it's to bad, I used it to make Stove Top Stuffing

Tea Baggin

Had some customer, who had never been in store before, stop in and wanted some sandwiches and wanted some Ice Tea. I told him it wasn't fresh brewed and that it was out of the soda machine. He was shocked that we didn't have fresh tea and that he didn't want anything to drink and that he would never come back here ever again. He told me he owned bars and restaurants all his life and that 90% of people in arizona drink tea. Well I told him we had one there in the past and we wasted a bunch of it, in reality we never had a fresh tea machine. I then told him we put that machine in to give people more variety. He told me that people wanted the frest tea and that it should be put in. I told him to tell me what drink should be taken off the machine. He didn't have an answer. But he did say that he sends in 50 people here a night and that he'll tell them all to never come in again. See the thing is, he owns this club that is way behind me and no one from there ever comes over since they don't really get going till after we are closed. Oh that and the fact that the place changes owners every year cause it goes belly up. But he's been in this business for his whole life. Well when that place closes down it will be cause he didn't serve tea I guess. If I would of known exactly which place he owned, at the time when he came in I didn't know, I would of said, lets see who's in business in a year, cause I know it will be me. But hey, he's the one that's been doing it all his life.

Oh BTW if you want the tea so bad, put it in your club since everyone at your bar, well 90% of the people there will drink. Fuck why not just open a place that serves tea and only tea. Watch out starbucks, I got the new thing, a tea place. Shit, I'll have 90% of everyone in Arizona stopping in for a drink, well as long as it's fresh brewed. I'll be a zillionaire!!!!!

The Haul

Here's what we got each other for X-mas

Jennifer recieves from Chris:

Personal heater for work
New Vaccum Cleaner
New Cordless phone/answering machine
New Pair of shoes (She will soon be captain nerdo just like me)
Personal Heater to keep her warm at work

Chris recieves from Jennifer:
X-mas Orniments
New pair of shoes

Merry Christmas

Even the Pope has gotten into the x-mas spirit this year. He threw on a santa hat. I think he came to the conclusion that it's not about Jesus anymore and it's all about Santa and gifts.

This was the before picture of him, before he opened his gifts. I hear he was pissed off and wasn't smiling once he didn't find the X-Box 360 under his x-mas tree.

DONE!!!

Finally got all my x-mas shopping done. I didn't think the malls and stores were as bad as I thought they were going to be. You could actually find parking spaces, so that was amazing. I think everyone is going to clean up big time from me, well except for me.

I think my favorite thing I have seen out there was this year's Billy Bass, except it's a mounted deers head. It sings songs and it has a microphone in it that you can speak into and make it talk. It's only like $100, so that's not bad.

I'm seroiusly beat right now and can't wait till Sunday and catch some Z's!!!! Not that the whole tired thing really ever changes with me. I think we are going to do something real exciting tomorrow, I think we are going to go to our old storage spot and clean it out. Doesn't get more romantic then that. Cleaning it out will definitly seal the deal for me.

Speaking of Deals, for some reason I am mildly attracted to the new tv show Deal or No Deal. It's a brainless show and anyone can do it. Here's the rules to the show from NBC:

The rules are simple. Choose a briefcase. Then as each round progresses, you must either stay with your original briefcase choice or make a "deal" with the bank to accept its cash offer in exchange for whatever dollar amount is in your chosen case. Once you decide to accept or decline the bank's offer, the decision is final. Contestants are encouraged to ask friends or family in the audience for advice; however, only the contestant's answer will be considered binding and final.

Ok, so now that u have an idea about it, the reason I like it is cause it's a good commercial break filler. You can flip over to it at anytime and pick the show up and you won't feel bad when you leave it since if you come back, you can pick it up again, whether it's the same person or someone new. The show doesn't demand a commitment, which at this point in my life, that's good. I only have enough time for 1 commitment and that's Lost.

Chicks dig me

I don't know what it is, but I can hit it off with some female customers at the store, but for some reason I can really hit it off with lesbians that stop into the store. Whether they are lip stick or butch, I can hit it off with them. I wish I could explain it, but I can't.

Did some more x-mas shopping tonight. Don't have it all done, yet, but the stores weren't as packed as I was expecting.

2 episodes of lost tonight back to back. Saw them already, but I can watch these again and watch more carefully and try to figure out what the fuck is going on with that show.

Fucking Brewers

This is why the Brewers suck. They would draft really good players, but they could never get them to sign with them. Here's some of the players they drafted, but never got them to sign on the dotted line:

Matt Williams
Bobby Thigpen-he was good for 1 year with the White Soxs
Jeremy Burnitz-played for them anyways via a trade, we got the good end of that deal, Kevin Sietzer sucked big time for the Indians after he was traded.
Alex Fernandez-Pitched a no hitter for the White Sox in his debut against the Brewers, I remember it, I was fishing on Lake Michigan listening to the game that day
Jason Giambi
Nomar Garciaparra
Matt Morris
Kip Wells


Imagine just a couple of those guys in Brewers Uniforms. Think about how Jason Giambi could of used the old beer mug to store his steroids and he could of slid down the slide into the mug and juiced up.

Imagine Nomar bringing his soccer wife to the games, oh wait, who cares about that.

Imagine Matt Williams playing for them, he could of been shifted to first and Frankin Stubbs might of never appeared ever at County Stadium. Oh how good could that of been???? Maybe if Williams signed, we would of never known Joey Meyer or Billy Jo Robineaux. Ahhh the memories.

What could of been.......

Someone needs to tell her

There's a customer here at the store that's fairly atractive, but what puts her out of contention is that when you look at her ass, it looks like she's taken a big dump in her pants. Not hot

You know who these people are, the clothes just don't fit them right and it looks like they are carrying a big dump in there pants. This doesn't mean that they should go right out and buy a pair of wranglers and start wearing them so it clamps to there ass, but how about something in between. Having the "Big Dump" look in your pants just isn't going to get you laid.

Someone needs to tell her this, I know you are saying why don't I do it. Well it's cause she's a customer and I shouldn't be looking at her ass.

BTW it wasn't me who pointed out originally, it was another employee, but all my employees that have seen her agree that she has a hot moist crap in her pants.

Boring

Went and tried to do some x-mas shopping last night. Got the crew taken care of for the most part. Asked Jennifer if the ideas I had for her were good and she said yes. I told her the ideas for me sucked and she needed to think harder.

After that we went to the new mexican restaurant right by the store. It will last about 6 months I think. Maybe people should take into account that 8 restaurants have been there in 7 years. It might not be a good location. The last guy there blew through some guys money super fast. See it wasn't his money so he didn't really care. I feel bad for these people since it's a ma and pa place. Put all there money into it and will be closed in a little while.

Got my x-mas present from my grandma yesterday. It was a magnetic car decal with the Packers logo on it. Plus Jennifer got a ball of shells, yeah don't ask, we don't get it either. She also sent each of us a card with some cash in it. But she felt the need to send it registered and overnighted to us. She spent $30 to send it to us, ooooops.

Need a last minute gift?

Best place to get out of the ordinary gifts for someone is your local pharmacy, Walgreens. They have a ton of as seen on tv crap and really out there stuff, real cheap.

Doing a dirty santa gift exchange with the crew this weekend, so I went there to get the good cheap stuff and they didn't disappoint. The thing is with Dirty Santa, you either want to get something really crazy that no one will want or you want to get something really crazy that only you will want. I went with the no one wants angle. Oh btw it's a $10 under limit, so I needed to really be on the look out for the good stuff.

I had to get 2 things, 1 for me and 1 for Jennifer. I got a pair of binoculars, ha ha ha, who needs that? Well in the city who needs that???? Also got a color light water fountain. Nice pure crap, ha ha ha!!!!

What I could do

I think I could work at a grocery store. Yeah they have good union jobs, good union pay, good union benefits, but the main reason I could work there is the music. They play such great bubble gum pop there. Recently I heard a great Britney Spears song there, "Lucky"

I love that song, cause the winner is....Lucky!!!!

I've got so many things running around in my head right now, so many ideas. It's really been driving me crazy, but it's also really driving me to work more. Sad isn't it.

I just found out today that on the gambling site that I rock at, I've won $8 dollars from them. Thanks guys

Hey

Dear Customers,

Please don't get pissed at me when you add a bunch of shit to your sandwiches and wonder why you are paying $20 for your order. It's not like I have a master plan to gouge you. The thing is, I want to give you a deal and keep you as a customer. To gouge you for 40 cents and loose you as a customer really isn't worth it. So please customer, don't be stupid.

Dancing with the stars celebrity dancers!!!!!!

Sweet Lord Jesus, thank you!!!!! The dancers for the second season of dancing with the stars are just great. OMG, they rock. Here's who they are:

Jerry Rice-Never danced in the endzone, so no, he won't win. Should of tried to get a real end zone dancer like Ickey Woods

Drew Lachey-The other Lachey brother you didn't care about

Tatum O'neal-Washed up actress, has an academy award though, so she's better then me

George Hamilton-He's got some serious leather skin, oh my!!!!

Kenny Mayne-The annoying white guy on ESPN, no not Chris Berman, the other annoying white guy. Not to be confused with the annoying black guy on ESPN, Stewert Suck

Stacy Kiebler-Yes, yes, yes. Now I need to go clean up my pants and it's not cause of poo

Lisa Rinna-I first remember her when she was Billie on Days of Our Lives. I scheduled a semester of school around that show one year. I loved that show!!!! Oh and Lisa has really nice big lips, yum yum. Plus she did Playboy while she was pregnant, she was still hot.

Tia Carrere-Hot 10 years ago, now she's got miles on her

Giselle Fernandez-TV reporter, blah blah blah

Romeo-Use to be Lil Romeo, not to be confused with Lil Bow Wow, who is now just Bow Wow. If you're a Romeo fan, tell me and I'll run to 99 cent store and get you Lil Romeo chips. Honest to god they made them, those and Master P chips and Youngbloodz chips. What marketing genious thought those would sell???

My pants are putting it's money on Stacy Kiebler. Please let her get all dressed up like Kelly Monaco!!!! I'll be raw soon

Damn trolls!!!

I think we have some trolls in the new house or something. I don't know what they are, but I do know 1 thing, they like stealing Tivo remotes. I''ve lost my second Tivo remote now and pretty much my Tivo's are useless. Damn them, give me them back, I need to be able to change the channel on my office TV. Without the tivo remote this TV is useless, luckily it's on Fox right now. It could be worse, it could be on Lifetime!

Money Issues

If I didn't have money to eat, drive to work/school, or enough money to survive, I know I would be pretty tight with how I spent what little money I have. I would buy a new camera phone, wouldn't have high speed internet, or have a smoking habit.

To bad one of my employees doesn't see it that way. He just went out and got a new phone, has high speed internet, and smokes like a chiminey. Oh by the way, he doesn't have enough gas money to go to school or money to eat.

This isn't an issue of me not paying him enough. I'll admit I gave him a pity job cause he's a relative of another crew member and his mother is dying and no one else would hire him. But the deal is this, you get free money from the government since your mom is on disability, you get tons of other government money, plus you pay nothing for rent. Where is all your money going??? You don't know how to budget. If it wasn't for the fact that I am a nice guy, you would be more screwed then you are now. Granted he's always early and will do what you ask of him, but he's slower then a turtle and takes 10 smoke breaks hourly.


BTW here's a bit of food advice, Hershey's now has a strawberrys and cream chocolate bar. Here's my advice, if you like food that tastes good, then you won't like it.

Good TV

I wish I had more free time, cause if I did I would watch the Saddam Hussein trial. He's just going off in the court room telling everyone to go to hell and that this isn't a real court. Just making a complete ass of himself and it would make for some good TV.

BTW 2 movie of the week women are going to be back on the market soon. Valerie Bertenelli and Christina Applegate are both getting divored, not from each other, although that would be hot. Going to go with Christina Applegate on this one. Younger and she probably has more money, which is a key. Plus who has more miles on her, Valerie, married to a rock star, or Christina, married to a no one. Valerie has a ton more miles on her!!!!!

Who knew???

I would of never of guessed it, but Aeon Flux is in theaters. I'm joking when I say this, cause I'm watching MTV right now and every day commercial is about how that movie is out right now and you need to see it since it has hot chicks in tight outfits playing with guns. While I do like that concept, I don't plan on seeing this movie. Blahhhhh

Bad commercial

Just saw a commercial for a metal detector and in the ad they claimed it was americas fastest growing hobby. Really???? Who is doing this and why??? Do you really feel the need to go digging around a park and dig up a dime? I can think of better things to do with my free time. Maybe fly a kite, learn oragami, or dance dance dance. I don't know, anything but using a metal detector. Dorks!!!!!

BTW

This site will now suck since Jennifer knows about it. So I can tell some stories, I just can't tell all of them. Maybe I'll turn that into some sort pay site. Get all the real good stories there.

Don't forget tueday the unrated Dukes of Hazard DVD comes out. Not to sure what makes it so unrated, maybe it has Johnny Knoxsville and Jessica Simpson going at it. It's rumored that it's one of the million reasons why her and Mr. Jessica Simpson broke up.

Ugh I wish I could write what I really want to.

Had some kid that works at Long John Silvers apply to work at the store. He probably won't make the cut since he spells his current employer as Long Jhon Slivers. Not a good start

Results

Well here's the results from the decorations.

Jennifer really didn't like them since I spent to much money on them. She asked if I spent $300 on them, I told her nope, only $295

Also the streak continues, I didn't get laid last night and still haven't gotten laid in the new house. I rock!!!! One month and counting!!!!