Porn Update

I've sealed the deal and will be meeting another porn star this weekend, but this isn't any normal porn star, this is THE PORN STAR. Yes indeed I will be meet the hedgehog Ron Jeremy. Now I don't think I'll shake his hand or anything, but I will still meet him. He's a legend, how can you not go see him. Well that and Mike is going to go along too.

Last night Jennifer and I went to the local KFC and sure enough, what were they out of. They were out of chicken. How does that happen???? The C in KFC stands for chicken, they should never run out, ever!!!! But they did, so we had to go to Popeye's instead. BTW I like there stuff better anyways.

Fudd-blocked

Went to Fuddruckers with some of the crew last night and we were having a grand time talking shit about people and wondering if so and so would ever make out with this other person. Pure fun, but then we realized that the couple to the next table to us was regular customers, so I had to put an end to those comments.

If I asked another woman to come over to the house and have dinner, is that really asking her out? I jokingly asked another woman to come over to the house and have some dinner and everyone was in shock that I did that. Blahhhh those other people hate fun!

Lately someone has thought it would be a good idea and has been stealing the newspaper from the store before we even open. Damn them, so we just call the paper back and say, give us another paper.

Finally picked up NCAA 2006 and I'm ranked #3 in the country and have fallen out of the heisman running, damn them!!!! But since I've been playing that so much lately, I haven't been on the computer as much and haven't kept up with world events to closely. Did you know World War 2 ended? Yikes, I need to get back to the computer and get updated on world events.

The Wheel

For some unknown reason when I turned on the TV, the worst show known to man was on, "Wheel of Fortune"

At first, like 25 years ago, yeah I could see people watching it, hey even I did back then. It was much much better then the crap that's on there now. Back in the day after each round you would have to spend the money you won on prizes, and they weren't just any prizes, they were pure crap like the $450 porcilian dalmation. Or if there was nothing else you could spend your money on, you could always put it on a service merchandise gift certificate.

But nowadays who watches this kind of crap??? Hell only old people watch the wheel now. I'm not a wheel watcher, not a wheel watcher.


Whenever I would go over to my grandma's house, she would have the wheel on. She was a wheel watcher, she was a wheel watcher. I'll always remember when the final puzzle would happen, not the bonus round, but the round before that. The phrase would pop up and then the little bell would go off and Pat Sajak spins the wheel and each letter you get from there on would be worth that last spin. Well every once in a while it would land on $5000 and my grandma would go bonkers. She would scream about how angry Pat Sajak was that he landed on $5000. "Look at him," she would say, "you can see the anger in him!!!" Well ok grandma, I don't think Pat really cares, it's not his money.

Daily Delights....

Went to Wal-Mart today and to my surprise they had some X-Box 360's there. I thought about it for a second, but decided not to get it. I just don't need it.

Speaking of video games, I'm playing PS2 online nowadays and if you have Rainbow 6: Lockdown or NCAA Football 2006 and want to play a round or 2, buzz me and we can go at it.

Got a letter in the mail today from the HOA and they informed us that we need to paint the Direc TV wire and blah blah blah. Yep, I'll get right on that.

I seriously need to get some sleep, I'm starting to get sick. But I know what's important, I need to watch LOST tonight.

Currently I'm watching "Who's #1? Super Bowls" and it's amazing to see how many games Pat Summerall was involved in by doing the commentary. It was nice to see that #13 was the Cowboys vs. the Steelers. Yeah I hate the cowboys, but I loved there coach at the time, Barry Switzer. Me and him go way back, he would always call me Big Guy. He'd be like, Big Guy, come over here. Plus hearing all the old crazy stories on how life was in the early 80's at the Univeristy of Oklahoma, it was nuts. There was no rules. If a player could light up a dorm hallway with an Uzi and not really get in trouble, then you know there were no rules.

Silly TV

It's funny that one of the TV stations is running commercials for how to react during a flood and to be prepared and don't drive through them since you could face a exspensive fine. Plus they're your flood tracking team or something like that.

Oh yeah, it hasn't rained here in Phoenix for over 100 days. If we get to friday without rain, it will be a new record. I hope we smash that record hard core!!!!!

Dr. Spock, please set your phasers to masterbate. This is the #1 reason why I loved Saved By the Bell

Icky Poo

Busted open the camera today and here's what is on it. I took some pictures of the employee who was burned at the spa and here's a couple of them. We took pictures cause she was thinking about taking them to court, but cooler minds have prevailed.






















Oh and here's my mom looking goofy

It's time....

Here it is, rejoice!!!!! You really couldn't ask for anything better!!!! Here's some early footage of the Bruce Lindsay Party Machine. Now this is pre-party machine, but you can see the talent in him even when he was young. Here it is


Other then the video, the best part of this is the site you get bounced to and the image they show you as a preview of what's on there. Damn Funny!!!!

Try to be nice

So I try to be nice and surprise some of my crew members at work and send them all to the spa and have a day on me. They'll get a massage, facial, pedicure, and some chow. I dropped about $700 on them to all have a great day on me. Sounds good right???? Well when I try to do something nice, but it back fires on me, yeah!!!! So while one of the girls is getting her facial the steamer that is on her goes bonkers and water starts pouring out and ta-da, we have a bbq'd employee. Just great!!!! So the spa was like, ahhhh we might not pay for her medical bills, ahhhhhhhhh, news break, they can either pay the medical bills or I'll fight to reverse those charges. We paid for the medical bills since I doubt she had the money for it and we didn't want to make her worry about another bill.

Sometimes you just can't win

King of The Hill

King of the Hill is probably one of my favorite shows that I can just sit back and not put any thought into watching. The show requires no commitment, just watch brain free for an hour. I think it's funny watching how the seasons progress. It started out that Bobby had sports posters in his room and now he has a poster of Destiny's Child in his room. It goes along with the angle of Bobby being feminine and his father dealing with it. What makes the show even funnier for me is that it's based in Texas and that's how it really is in Texas.

Do they know who they are complaining to...

This story seems kind of crazy, read on:


Bosses at America's leading gay rights group are demanding a summit meeting with the producers of TV talent show AMERICAN IDOL after claiming the programme is "increasingly homophobic".

Officials at the Gay And Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) were appalled by homophobic remarks made by judges SIMON COWELL and RANDY JACKSON on the first show of the new season, which aired in America on Tuesday (17JAN06).
On the programme, Brit Cowell told one effeminate wannabe to "shave off your beard and wear a dress," while Jackson asked another audition hopeful, "Are you a girl?" Both contestants were rejected.

Now GLAAD bosses are fighting back, demanding an audience with Idol bosses.
A spokesman tells entertainment news website TMZ.com, "GLAAD is reaching out to the show's producers to discuss our concerns and the concerns of community members and allies, who have contacted us about this matter."


Does GLAAD remember that Ryan Seacrest is on the show??? The show can't be to homophobic if they allow him on the show.

This is why you no longer work for me

I changed accountants last year, why you ask, cause my old one was lazy and not accessable. So I changed and went to a new one and couldn't be happier with who I have now. Well I need to get some numbers from the old accountant, so I drove over there around 10am this morning, they aren't open. Just a reminder why I got rid of them. I went over again around 2-ish and they were still closed. Once again I remember why I got rid of them.

Watching Dancing with the Stars right now and I love the fact that Lisa Renna wears next to nothing on the show. I have a place for her in my heart since she was on my favorite soap of all time, Days of Our Lives. I loved watching that show while I was in college and she was on the show those years. What a great time period it was for that show, Billy and Bo, Billy and Hope, Marlana as the desicrator, and Stephano dressing up as all sorts of costumes like a police inspector or a UPS driver. Oh I loved that show.

Also during the show, Dancing with the Stars, Giselle Fernandez said she had to work hard to finish in the top cause she can't depend on the at home viewers since she's not as popular as the others. Really Giselle??? If you can't be more popular then Drew Lachey or Tia Carrere. Come on!!!!

Hurting me

See I don't write to much about Jennifer here cause she says it's mean or blah blah blah, but this time she know's its true, so I can feel free to poke at here. When most people slap or tap each other on the ass, you usually hit the person on one of there cheeks. Oh no, not Jennifer, she likes to slap you right down the middle and right up your ass. She didn't know she was doing this until I pointed it out to her and that it didn't feel good to me. She's adjusted her slapping now, so I only get it up the ass every once in a while now.

If you're a huge Simpsons fan like me, then I know you'll enjoy this link. Have fun and print out your character

Back in heat

No I'm not in heat like a dog is in heat, nope, I'm back in Phx and I am happy to be back. Overall my meetings weren't to exciting and nothing really came out of it. The most exciting thing to happen while I was back happened at the airport while I was standing in line. So I'm standing there just waiting for my turn to check in and out of the corner of my eye I see something falling and sure enough I hear a big thud. Some guy fell over and was having a heart attack, holy shit!!! Luckily there was a police officer there and another guy who both started performing CPR on the guy. I kind of looked away from the whole scene since there wasn't anything I could do and I know if I was on the brink of death, I wouldn't want to be stared at. But they did bust out the party pattles and jump started his heart. The machine talked them right through it and I don't know if he lived or died, I think he lived though, but they carted him off on an ambulance.

I told my mom about this and she gave a good response, at least it didn't happen on the plane cause who knows what would of happened then.

Back Home

Holy shit it's cold here right now in wiscoldsin and yes I know people around here would say it's warm, but there wrong, it's damn cold!!!!

Got in yesterday and had to drive my folks home since they were to tired to drive home, no problem with me. When we got home I realized my parents live in an ice box or something. I told my mom it was freezing, she said it was hot and that they even turn the thermostat up for me to 68. I asked her what they normally keep it at, she said 63. Yikes, we keep our arizona house at 75, so going to 68 is a big step for me.

Today I had another interesting say with my mom, she wanted to go out antique-ing. I'm fine with that, you never know what you might find out there. Well she didn't want to go to any close antique stores, that would be to easy, nope she wanted to go to one 2 hours away. Why we had to go that far, I don't know. Well after walking around for a while, I wasn't feeling good and I stepped outside. It was probably the fact that it was 2pm and I had nothing in my system all day. After a little more walking around we laft the place and then my mom decided we needed to do a driving tour of Wisconsin Dells, since the place has grown so much since the last time I was there. She asked me if I was enjoying that, I told her no cause I wasn't feeling good and the last thing I wanted to do was sit in her car and look at how things are different. Well my mom didn't think it was that, she thought I was acting sick cause I didn't want to be there.

The thing is, my mom loves going on little driving tours with me whenever I come back and she tells me look how much things have changed. I really don't care how much things have changed, I have better things to do with my life then to go look how there's a new McDonalds where an old building use to be or look how there's a new car dealership. I have very limited time while I am on vacation and she can't understand why I don't enjoy these car tours. Odd isn't it???

Another good day

Master P, na na na na, survived another round of dancing with the stars. Don't ask me how since I can dance better then him and I can't dance. Amazing how the people of america are just keeping him around for a laugh. Maybe people out there do have a sense of humor just like me, nah it can't be that.





Gotta love the baseball cap and the boots. Pure dancer!!!

I'm screwed!!!!

Shit I'm screwed. I have to deal with cold weather again. I'm flying back to Wisconsin this weekend for a business meeting. I know I'll enjoy going to a few of my favorite spots while I'm back, most notibly Golden Gyro, 75th and Lincoln. But I don't want to deal with the frigid tempatures. It was like in the 60's here tonight and I was freezing.

While I'm back I'm going to line up a trip for my mom to come down here. I'm going to have her come down here while spring training is going on. We're going to hit a couple brewers games, but the fun thing is that we are going to go to a World Baseball Classic game. I think we are going to go see USA vs. Canada. This will be the first classic and who knows, could be the last classic. So it will be historic!!!! But damn, they are charging an arm and a leg for tickets for it. For tickets that are down the 1st or 3rd baseline, not on the infield on the baseline, on the outfield baseline, those tickets will run you $75. Yikes!!!! So that times 3, for me, my mom, and jennifer, and it will be a exspensive night. I'm not sure if Jennifer will go since spending $75 on something she will sleep through anyways seems like a waste. Instead maybe we'll take her seat money and buy 2 USA fitted hats for $35 each. Damn they are really gouging us with this. Damn them!!!!

What's funny???

If you're ever trying to guarantee something funny and don't know what's funny, I have a simple math equation for you. It's the pentagon of comedy. By using 1 of these topics, you will most likely guarantee laughs. Use more of the pentagon, the more laughs you will get. So please draw a pentagon first and on each corner of the pentagon write down one of the following:

1) Midgets
2) Mascots
3) Old people who can't hear
4) Bigfoot
5) UFO/Aliens

When I worked in radio, I lived by this pentagon. It worked out for me every time. You can try to replace things on the pentagon, but trust me, these are the top of the top.



Here is another thing that I find funny.

Odd Day

So let's see here, it was a real odd day.

I always say that when employees leave, if they leave on ok or good terms, that they will be back. Well sure enough, one of my former employees is coming back. Is she the best employee, well she had some growing up to do back in the day and I think she's done that. She moved out of the party house that she use to live in and her old job that she left me for. I always remind people that money isn't always the most important thing in life, you need to be happy. Maybe she's grown up and wants to take another swing at things. She's coming home and has alot of ass kissing to do. I don't mind her coming back, under my rules, it's more everyone else excepting her back. I know no one in the night crew will work with her, but then again, she would be working days, and she also had to convince Jennifer that she will be on her best behavior. If she comes back, I give it 2 months.

One of the things I do is that I competitive shop other stores to see what they are up to. So I went into another sandwich shop and looked around and got an idea of what they were doing. I don't go into the place wearing any work related clothes, so in reality no one should know who I am. While I was there today, another person from a different sandwich shop was in there in full clothes. I just thought it was funny, people from 3 different sandwich shops were in 1 store at 1 time. Odd, real odd

Catching up!!!

Took down the x-mas decorations today, just a week or so late. Here's a pic of it before I took it down.


On the left is the snow gloge, in the middle is the ice cube man, and on the right is Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer.



Kind of hard to get into the x-mas spirit when it's in the high 70's outside. Trust me I wouldn't give the weather up to have a little spirit.

You've waited long enough

Here's the great picture of me and my porn girlfriend, Jesse Jane. Oh god, she's so hot!!!! BTW she's the one on the right






Please Jesse marry me!!!!!
Look at how happy I am. How often do you ever see me smile??? Exactly!!!!

Why ask???

I have people come into the store all the time and ask for an application. They'll grab the application and that will be the last we ever see of them. They will just grab it, take it home, look at it, and decided that you know what, work really isn't for them. For every 20 applications that I hand out, 1 of them will get turned in, and of the one that gets turned in, 80% of them are from people who claim they are 23 and never worked a job there whole life. Plus we get the one's from people that can't spell, like the guy who worked at Long John Silvers, but spelled it Long Jhon Sliver. Ahhhh kids now a days got it going on.

BTW if you go see the new Queen Latifah movie "Last Holiday" I will never talk to you ever again, never ever!!!!

Dancing with the Stars results....

Oh happy day!!!! Kenny Mayne was kicked off the first week. How shocking, I thought Master P was a goner. I guess P said, "Uhhhhhhhhh, I ain't goin"

So that means we get to see another week of P, Uhhhhhhhh na na na na, doing his best white man dance by a black man. Plus we get another week of my girl, Ashley!!!! Life is good!!!!!

Life Sucks.....

I'm sorry to USC cause I put a curse on them or maybe I was like a good luck charm for Texas. See the thing is, I hate the University of Texas. I hate them more then any college out there. I swore up and down I wanted nothing to do with anyone from there. But this weekend I was in a jam, I needed someone to play QB for me in fantasy football since my normal starters Jake Plummer and Byran Leftwich weren't going to play to much. So I had to dig down deep and grabbed Chris Simms, the biggest brat player and former UT QB. Sure enough Chris did good and I won the league championship. So that started the roll for Texas and continued with the national championship. There just doing it to drive me crazy.

Another reason why life sucks is cause Master P, uuuuuuhhhhhhh na na na na, is on dancing with the stars. Don't get me wrong, he's fucking great on the show. He says he's doing it for the hood and the people of New Orleans. He was a last minute replacement for his son, Romeo, or as we use to call him, Lil Romeo. Well P jumped in to save the day and really put effort into it. Wait, no he didn't. The rumor that black people can dance was so way off on him. Imagine me on dancing with the stars doing my famous white man dance, I just stand there and move a little forward and back without moving my feet, never leaning to far, just a little bit. Well that's how P danced on the show. Plus he wore combat boots and a baseball cap with a sequined P on it. That's fine if he doesn't want to win, but he's dancing with my girlfriend on the show, profesional dancer Ashley

She's so hot!!!!! But she will be gone after week 1 cause of damn Master P, na na na na!!!!

Here's P, na na na na, in a promo picture for the show, he's not even paying attention to Ashley. Damn, she must not have enough ass for him, cause I know he isn't gay since I'm sure he's got it on with a ton of bitches from the hood. I guess seeing Ashley doesn't make P say, "Uhhhhhhhhh", but makes P want to say, "Na na na na!!!!"

Here's a link to keep you busy during your boring day

Finally!!!

This day has finally arrived, I thought this day would never happen. Queen Latifah got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She can finally take her place in fame with Bob Hope, Marlon Brando, Jimmy Stewert, Ryan Seacrest, and now, finally the Queen can take her throne. Sad isn't it.























Last but not least, here's a link that all guys could use. Women don't watch this, it will give away our plan. Here it is

Remind me...

I need to remind myself that I'm not the hiring manager. Had someone stop into the store and filled out an application. From the start I could tell he wasn't what we were looking for. But I can't say "No, U can't fill out an application," so I let him fill it out. He goes about filling it out and then asks what we are looking for and then asks if I'm the hiring manager. Foolishly I told him yes. Well he went on to tell me that he's ready to work right now and is waiting for me to say yes. So I talked to him a little more and then I figured out something, I think he's allergic to something, he's allergic to work.

Thanks to Kevin for passing on this link to me. It starts off real slow, keep with it though, it picks up at the end. Here it is

Something Old, Something New

Yeah, it's 2006, who cares!!!!! It's just another day to me. If anything it reminds me that I'm getting older and that's not a good thing. That's the old, now something new....


I have a wierd sense of humor when it comes to things and forever I've always been about not promoting anyone but me on this site, get over it, I love myself. At least I admit it. But this year, I'm going to turn over a new leaf and am going to start promoting other things. So please enjoy the things that I will offer you.

The first thing I want to do is give you insight on the person that will be the biggest star of 2006. This guy is going to blow up big time!!!!! Click here and check him out





Ok, maybe he won't be huge this year, but it's damn funny that he's trying to be something other then a baby maker.

Happy New Year