Pain Pain and more Pain

My tendonitess on my right foot has come back. This is the second time I have had this happen and I am in a ton of pain. It doesn't bother me when I stand, but once I move it hurts so bad that I want to kill myself. I'm in so much pain right now. I'm sitting down right now, but have to get up and down every once in a while to help people out. This will only get worse before it gets better. Last time it happened was when my folks were in town and it gave me an excuse to sit down on the couch or lay in bed and ignore them. To bad the only person I can ignore right now is me. I guess I will drug up tonight when I get home with some good stuff from Mexico.

Speaking of Mexico, a couple of my crew members bought me a mini accordian from mexico. They got it for me cause I plan on starting a Ranchero band, ranchero music is like the mexican umpa music and it also has a ton of accordian music in it. So I think I might start a band. It will consist of 11 accordians, 1 trumpet, and 1 guitar. I haven't locked down the name of it yet, it's either going to be QF6 (named after a type of paper) or Fuck You Selena. Also the band will be an all gringo band. It will be a novelty band in Mexico and will be the biggest band in mexico since Menuedo!!!

Another great Jennifer-ism

I think this blog could just rotate around the stupid shit Jennifer does.

Here's a conversation from tonight:

Jennifer: The sign is outside the store (We put a sign in front of the store saying what the special of the day is) and remind me if I don't bring it in in the morning.

Me: You need to turn around right now and go get the sign

Jennifer: I HAVE THE SIGN IN MY CAR

Me: You just said it was outside the store

Jennifer: NO IT'S IN MY CAR

I hang the phone up at that point or lose connection, 1 of the 2.

Also, just so you don't think I am the only 1 who bags on Jennifer, my mom buzzed me today and asked me if I was going to get Jennifer anything for Valantines Day. I said I probably was, but that she would just lose it. I then asked my mom if I ever told her how she lost her x-mas present. She loved that story.

The reason my mother asked me if I was going to get her anything is because Jennifer has done a great job of getting gifts. Here's recent memory, please understand that this list is incomplete since I forget things.

2004 X-mas: Nothing
2004 Birthday: Nothing
2003 X-mas: Money Clip
2002 X-mas: Comforter for my bed, something she wanted, but pawned it off to me
2001 Birthday: Sheep skin foot massager, something that I never opened and proclaimed I used it all the time

She has also bought me another money clip in the past, I just can't remember what year it was. Needless to say, she can't shop worth a shit. Please don't hire her to be a personal shopper for you unless you want nothing.

My secret.....

Ok, so I'll admit it. I was a fan of trading spaces. The key word in that statement is the word "was" Why am I no longer a fan. I suppose alot of it has to do with my changing schedule, the new designers that I could care less about, or maybe it's the fact that it's kind of new to do something new on that show.

The one thing I could always count on was the fact that if I decided to turn on the show, I would see the perky smile of Paige Davis. If you don't know, she was the host of the show. Notice the key word, "was". She was just shit canned by the folks over at TLC and now the show will be host less. That's right, there will be no host on trading spaces.

See a show like TS needs a host. With new designers all the time and the obvious new home owners each week, the host was the glue that held the show together. Now there won't be that glue anymore and the show will suffer even more now.

Wait a minute, the show is suffering??? Yeah for the last couple years the shows ratings are down. Remember when TS was the hot show and everyone had to watch it, well until the next new "it" cable show came on. Well TLC didn't quite understand that this type of thing happens. Just ask South Park, the Man Show, and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Your hot 1 season, not the other. But like I said before, TLC doesn't understand that. So what happens to the show, designers leave to do new shows. They bring in new designers, but people don't accept change and complain that they want the old designers back. Well that isn't going to happen. Well ratings are slipping, so they decided to screw with the concept, 2 days, 2 couples, 2 designers, and $1000. Back in the day, the designer had everything planned out and was ready to go when they got to day 1. Well now they having ever changing money ammounts and the designers don't get to plan ahead since the home owners get to pick which room will get done. Well once again, change happens, ratings drop, and TLC freaks out. So they decide they need to shake things up. The decided it was time to fire the host and let the show go hostless. What will be there next rash decision, I have no idea. The show is dead, let it go and move on to new things.

OR.....

maybe TLC, a family-ish network, didn't like pictures like this showing up everywhere





There is also a home made porn of paige rumored to be out there. Not hard core, but they say it's her. It's no Pam and Tommy, but it's a celebrity


And just to prove that TLC does care, they buried a message from Paige on it's site. They don't say she's leaving until u click on the link, it just says to click here for a message from Paige.

Paige, just like the bank teller at my local bank, I will miss you when you leave, but you will always live on in my palm..................eeeeeerrrrrrr I mean heart

Holla

Watching a show called Russian Brides. Basically it talks about 2 types of guys. The 1) old guy who marries the young girl and the 2) old guy who proposes to a young girl and strings them on. Pure genius. This one couple is on the show, he is 33 years older then his new wife. He's did it for 1 reason, get down on it. She says she is attracted to his mind but not phsyically, but in time, maybe she will find him more attractive. Comedy!!!! Here's an honest to god situation from the show. Older guy is sitting around with friends in the US telling how he has to delay his trip to Russia to visit his woman. He says "Would you like to see a picture of her??" People in the group say yes. So he pulls out a picture from his wallet, shows them the picture and says, "This is a picture of her the morning after we first made love. I went and bought her a gold chain after that"

Like I said, old guys love Russian women I guess.

My Top 5 of Under-rated Candy

5) Whatchamacallit

Not sure what is in it, but it's damn good!!!!
4) Big Kat

Yeah it's a giant kit kat, but it doesn't get the same love as a kit-kat
3) Milk Duds

If they are to solid, they can really bust your teeth, if they are soft, they rock
2) Toffifay

You get 4 of these soft toffee candies with a nut in them in each pack, but if u go to Wallgreens u can get the super pack of them, like 18 in each pack. If I see them at the store I will pick them up. I've had 2 packs of them in the last year. Hard to find and under-rated
1) Bit of Honey

Holy shit this is the holy grail of "get no love" candy. You need to make sure you find soft bit of honeys or else you will chip/break your teeth. Oddly enough 99 cent store has had soft bit of honeys lately.

Another Jennifer-ism

Here's a recent conversation between Jennifer and I:

Jennifer: Can you pick me up some coffee on your way to the shop?

Me: Sure

Go to Mobil to get here some coffee. She's one of the few people that like gas station coffee. I look around, they haver regular, decaf, and french vanilla. I picked her up the french vanilla and then brought it to the store for her.

Jennifer takes a sip

Jennifer: What is this?

Me: French Vanilla Coffee

Jennifer: Why did u get me this, I hate coffee

Me: Cause you told me to get you coffee

Jennifer: You should know I hate coffee and wanted the cappachino

Me: Well then don't tell me you want coffee then, tell me u want cappachino

Scam, pure scam!!!!

Ok, so I'm listening to the radio and they are talking about this new coin machine that you place in stores, blah blah blah, just like coinstar. They say u can make 10 cents on every dollar dropped into your machine. But here's the million dollar question, once u get a machine and then once people drop the money in, what do u do with all that change?? No bank will take change anymore. Change is like the anti christ to banks. So is there some sort of secret bank that only takes change and will count it for you?? Hell no, so I proclaim this thing a scam.


MTV is making me so happy. They are doing an Ashlee Simpson marathon. I only hope I can keep up with it, my own little marathon. The new season of her show premieres wednesday, so I'll set both tivos in the house to it so there is no way I can miss it. I will admit though that I like blonde ashlee better then black hair ashlee. Let's compare:



Hot and innocent



Hot and dirty



Ok, both are hot, but I like innocent Ashlee better

I Love the....

Hey VH1, u know the channel that use to play a ton of Michael Bolton and Richard Marx, well now they have this thing called I love the 90's part duex. Well I'm a sucker and I am watching it. Right now is 96 part duex and they are talking about Romeo and Juliet. Damn Claire Daines was hot in that movie!!!!! OMG she has not aged well. Well at least not in my opinion.

On the way home tonight I went to El Pollo Loco. WTF is El Pollo Loco, it's the crazy chicken you idiot!!!! Oh yeah, it's also a mexican fast food place out here. They have this crazy mascot/spokeman, El Caliente, the Keeper of the El Pollo Loco Flame. Sounds crazy right??? Well it is. Here's some pictures of a commercial they did:








Fuck!!!! Who makes this shit up??? This is pute crap!!! Please some advertising company, please hit me up. I can give u better ideas then this shitbox

I stink

I'll be the first to admit that I have a funk to me right now. I think I have some serious BO today, well not serious, but I can smell it, so it exists. I guess degree didn't stand up to the test today. Plus I got mustard all over me, well not all over me, but a spot on me.

Other things going on in my life. Didn't see my banker today, but I think she was there. Oh well, I will attempt to see her again tomorrow morning. She's so hot. I did talk to the slutty dressed banker and asked her if I could work out a loan with her. She says she can do loans within the money ammount that I need, so I might spend some more time with her and the whore-ish clothes that she wears.

I understand how the government wants to appear all hip and shit, but someone has a little to much time on there hands. Here's a game for the kids to play that gives the kids an idea of what it is really like when the Tsunami hits. Click here to play this game. I really think it was just like how the picture made it out to be.

By the way, I'm at the University of Phoenix right now and someone asked me if I had a fork or a spoon for them. First off, why the fuck would I have a fork or spoon on me. What do u want to spoon your sandwich or your cookie??? And second of off, u want a spoon or a fork from me so u can eat some other food from someone else and not spend any money from me??? Hell no. Yeah they fuck u in the drive thru, but that doesn't mean I am going to help your non spending ass out. Bitches I tell u

Nuggets

Not much going on today. I'm wiped out right now, but that's ok. I get to sleep in tomorrow and catch 1 or 2 z's.

Today was a good day though because I found one of my favorite snacks of all time again. The local gas station is carrying Andy Capp Cheddar Fries. This is the best snack of all time. There are also spicey fries, but the cheddar fries are the best. Why does Andy Capp, the worst cartoon character next to Kathy, get to represent these great snacks??? It beats me.



Don't let this turn into a political thing, cause that is not the issue. But has anyone noticed now that Condalica Rice is going through confirmation hearings to become Secretary of State, she is now know as Dr. Condalica Rice. When did she become a doctor?? Did Sally Struthers hook her up with a masters degree in locksmithing or legal aid??? How does this happen overnight????

Stupid America

Ok, this will show you how stupid america really is. It's time for a quiz

Of the movies listed below, which movie has made the most money?

A) Back to the Future
B) Mission Impossible
C) The Matrix
D) Meet the Fockers

If you answered D then you are correct and it goes to show you how fucking stupid america really is. When all is said and done that piece of a shit movie will pass some more great films like: Jurrasic Park, Saving Private Ryan, Beverly Hills Cop, Ghostbusters and Raiders of the Lost Ark. The only thing good that will come out of this is the if the movie earns another 30 million it will pass that piece of shit movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Who were the idiots that helped that movie earn $241 million. America is so stupid when it comes to movies.

NO NO NO!!!!!

My dream bank teller is moving to a different branch. She will only be there for 2 more weeks and then she is moving to there new downtown office. Life really sucks and now this has happened. I guess I can never see her again or maybe I will need to move downtown. But they did hire another good looking young girl. And did I mention that all of the tellers are young. Well they are!!!! But oh how I will miss her!!! 2 weeks to go with her. Boo hoo

WHAT????

American Movie Classics is a sad sad channel. Tonight they were showing another great classic, "Volcano" starring Tommy Lee Jones. A volcano tears LA apart. Real classic!!!! If that's not enough, this is the same channel that shows Smokey and the Bandit 3 on a regular basis. We all know that Smokey #1 is perhaps one of the best movies of all time, #2 is also a great movie. But #3 doesn't have Burt Reynolds, it has Jerry Reed fooling the world as the bandit and he has to get a stuffed shark from 1 side of the country to the other side of the country, while it is straped to the hood of his car. Who makes this shit up and who in hollywood green lights this movie????

But speaking of Smokey and the Bandit, next time it is on cable or non basic tv, please watch it. You would not believe how racist of a movie it is. It could never get by in today's world.

Ok, lets move away from AMC and on to another channel, Sci-Fi. They are doing the new Battlestar Gallactica. It rocks. It's not like a star wars rip off like the original show, but it's about a plot and a real story. Please watch and btw starbuck, who in the original show was a guy, but in the new show is a smoking hot woman. Please just watch it for her!!!!!

Another Great Jennifer-ism

She drives me crazy and this is just another example why she makes my life terrible at times. This is my second time tying this so this will be the short version. Basically I went to work today and notice that only 2 persons used there mastercard yesterday and that those 2 charges equalled over $800. Well obviously something is wrong. So I went back and found out the problem. Jennifer who worked University of Phoenix last night charged someone $855 for a sandwich, chips, and a drink, something that should cost only $5.50. Well I refunded the person the difference and I hope they won't notice. Of course Jennifer doesn't remember doing this and oh my god this oh my god that.

Why am I telling this, well cause Jennifer is a fucking idiot and also because when me and jennifer both work at night, her at U of P, and me closing the store, I always want to run the credit card charges and Jennifer tells me that she is not an invalid and that she can do it on her own. Well I went out of my way to tell her that she is now an invalid and that I will be putting the numbers in from now on. Some how I can see the store/me getting ass raped in this situation

My new job

I guess I have a new job, it's a fucking travel agent. Yeah that's right, it's my new gig. My mother demands that I have to book her vacation to vegas. Now we have booked this for her in the past, usually I will pawn it off to Jennifer, she likes feeling important. But not this time, I HAVE TO DO IT!!!! Well thinking my mother isn't really being serious, I tell jennifer to give her a ring and take care of it. Nope, that won't work for my mom, I HAVE TO DO IT. So after a week of not having enough time or some other lame ass excuse I used, my mother finally talked to jennifer about it. But jennifer can look and do the research, but I have to seal the deal. Jennifer did tell them it would cost about $550 a person, but my mom chimed in that there friends are going to fly for $200 per person and it was only 2 weeks ago. Well maybe it's cause they aren't like u and flying on peek flying days, you're fucking flying on a holiday, no one flys then!!!! If my mother doesn't like what I'm doing, call your fucking travel agent, u have 1 and take care of it with her. We will get the same fucking price. I won't feel left out if u don't book your tickets with me, your new travel agent.

Coolest Crew

I have to admit, I have some pretty good employees and some shitty ones too, well 1 shitty employee. But here's why some of them are kewl. I have a married couple from mexico and they went back home over x-mas. Well while they were down there, they were seriously thinking about getting me a live rooster for x-mas. A living rooster, not statue, not a stuffed animal, but a real one. I think they thought I would like it since I always ask about rooster fighting in mexico and if it's more popular then soccer and if they have ever had one or been to a rooster fight. Whenever I talk about rooster fights, I never say that, I always say "rooster" and then motion my hands together and make clicking noises. It's pretty funny.

So once Jennifer found out about this, she tore into work yesterday and started proclaiming that there is no way in hell that they should get me a live rooster. No way in hell. She has to take the fun out of everything

Typical day

This is the kind of shit that I have to deal with:

Hmmm, ok, so I drop over $300 on Jennifer's x-mas present. A day at a spa, sometihng to make her relaxed and shit. Today she tells me she has lost the gift certificate!!! Fuck, she just flushed that money down the drain.

Ok, so I can get past that, well not really

On the way home jennifer yells at me since I had not had any dinner yet and I told her I would just have some chips when I got home. Oh no, chips are not a dinner, so I had to go to the grocery store, cause jennifer told me she would rather have me eat microwave burritos then chips. Ok, by me. But at the store they didn't have my favorite kind so I had to settle for a different kind. BTW Tina's Red Hot Microwave burritos are my favorite. Well I go to the check out and the most manly of a young woman is checking me out. She is so manly. I feel so bad for her cause it will not get better for her. But it happens

How sad am I

Was going to go to the bank yesterday, but I drove by, noticed my favorite teller wasn't there, so I kept driving. Hope she will be there today!!!! But I noticed something about her last time I was there, she might be married. She has 2 rings on, but she could be wearing them to look older then what she really is and maybe move up on the bank food chain. I so hope that is the case. She has never made mention of him to me and we talk about all sorts of stuff when I visit the place.

Ok, enough about her. I want to make sure everyone lives a healthy life. So please go look at this site and realize what the warning signs are if you are having eye problems. Go there and help yourself!!! Click here for it

I suck!!!!

I only got 500,000 playing it the first time. Will play more later and beat it. If you like the simpsons, this is the game for u.


Click here to play it

DAMN U ABC

So I got hooked in by all the sexy commercials for Alias. I just wasted 2 hours of my life that I will never get back. The show makes no sense. See some shows recap what has happened in the past, but not this show. If you haven't been watching since day 1, forget about it, your fucked. In the future just watch it on tivo and on mute, fast forward to Jennifer Garner and then get on with your life. They did a mission to get a sword back??? Holy shit, this is good writing. I bet next week they will do a story on getting back a gun or maybe some secret documents. Who writes this shit. Put a hot chick and bad writing does nothing!!! Look what it did for Suzanne Summers on "She's the Sherrif" good looking woman, shitty writting. Fuck I wasted to much time on this crap show!!! Give me more T&A ABC!!!!!


Now I know everyone wants to help out the Tsunami victums anyway they can. So here's 1 way I think you can help them out. Instead of sending money there, please go there and support the local economy. Please go on a Thailand Sex Tour. Here's a link for some good information on it. In the info, they mention my favorite thailand town of Phucket. Here's what I say, Thailand has been hit with a horrible Tsunami, so to help the country get back on it's feet, let's help there economy by bringing on a sexual tsunami to thailand and help there economy out. Let's all bring on a sexual tsunami to all the women of thailand, help them please, won't u????

Crazy

How crazy is it that I am at the University of Phoenix, using there wifi connection and I still get pop up ads for there fucking school. Hey guys, I am here, please leave me alone. I don't need the ads anymore

Yes!!!!!

In the year 2005 I resolve to: Fuck, Fuck, and do more Fucking Get your resolution here

Bonus night!!!

What makes it bonus, well give it a little time.

Work hasn't been to bad. Recently I've had an employee with a cyst on her ovaries and they popped. But she only missed a day or 2. Also have a couple other sick people.

While I may complain that everyone calls in sick. I will say this, I have fun playing with my employees. I have a mexican kid who works for me and all he does is work. He loves to work, which is good. But every once in a while, I will goof with him. Well for some reason he has been running to the shitter alot lately. Well I asked him if he had mexican food last night and that might be why he is running to the shitter so much. See that's funny to me, cause we americans always blame mexican food on having to go to the shitter. Comedy!!!! He didn't get it.

The other thing I do is listen to mexican radio with him, which I don't understand. But I listen to the DJ's, which is like listening to a morning zoo radio style show all the time. So when the DJ laughs and plays the laugh track in the back ground, I laugh too. My employee asks me why I am laughing??? I tell him it's cause of the radio. Also every once in a while they will play shakira on the radio, once every hour I should say. He will tell me that it's shakira. I tell him I didn't know she was a singer, I just thought she shaked her ass and that's it. I tell him that every time she is on the radio. He still has not caught on.

OK, BONUS TIME!!!!!

JESSICA SIMPSON PICTURES FROM DUKES OF HAZARD!!! ENJOY!!!!!!!

Bsuy

Busy busy busy lately. Sick employees and more sick employees. How is it that I am healty?