Woo-ha

Taking drugs will make this seem fucking crazy. Just alone without the drugs, it's crazy, woo-ha

Cardinal Fun

Here I am chillin with Kurt Warner today. Got him to sign a jersey and do something really different. He was at a cell phone place doing "wireless autographs" which is basically Kurt would leave your voicemail for you on your phone. So now whenever anyone calls me, they hear Kurt saying that me and him are looking over this years playbook. He was a really nice guy and would of signed like 100 things if u had them. He really went out of his way to feel like you were making a connection with him. Also if you look closely at the picture, I'm doing the floating hand move. Whenever I do a pic with a celebrity, I always do the floating hand move. Basically I'll put my arm around them, but I won't touch them, but it sure looks like I am.

Lost Comedy

Here's Locke with hair, he's so funny looking.



Love this show.

Grub Fever 06: The Federline Revolution

Please be like the french and take a month off. Take August off and prepare your self for Kevin Federline's debut album. I need to change my underwear right now just from thinking about it. Now which end I blew it out of is a whole different question. The album's name is "Playing with Fire" when it really should of been called "Playing with my wife's fun bags" or "Playing with my wife's money" or "Getting another bitch knocked up"

Maybe by fire he means his love seed since it knocks up women around the world. His shit is potent. All women need to stay 20 feet away from him to make sure they will not get pregnant from him.

One month....

One month until I can get a new phone. See I have a razor, just along with everyone else in the fucking world. But the thing is, I had it before they did, when people would be like, "Wow, checking out the fucking thin ass fucking phone"

Now I'm just one of the lemmings. So to stay ahead of the curve, I'm going to be purchasing a sliver phone on April 29th. Hopefully no one will buy them and I'll be kewl again.

Drugs is a killah....

If there's one thing Bobby Bird has told us, it's that drugs is a killahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. They don't need no help, they can do it alone!!!

Yes they can do it alone. Look at this cracked out Whitney Houston. She looks like a cracked out male cross dressing hooker. I'd still hit it, but if it actually was a male cross dressing hooker, I wouldn't hit it, just let her jerk me off.

She looks like one of the aliens from the bad Rowdy Roddy Piper movie, "They Live"

Chaos!!!

It's like cats living with dogs, this is the end times!!!! The cop from the village people has been arrested. He was picked up for not showing up for drug charges he had pending against him. How can a cop end up in jail? Oh shit, he's going to get so much ass love in jail, but maybe he will like it??? I wonder if they are letting him wear his outfit into jail.

Nut Shot

Whoa....had a complete nut shot today at work. Had one employee call in with a sick kid. Had another one call in since her dad is in the hospital. Can't forget that my wireless modem died and had to get someone out there to fix it. Plus my ice machine needed to be cleaned and it took all day for it to finally shoot out clean ice, which made having ice for customers a fun little detail. Oh and what would the day be with out running out of straws.

I knew about the issues and was going to take care of them in a timely manner, but the whole sick employees thing threw a wrench into my day.

The good news is that one of my employees got her car back today so I don't need to be her personal taxi anymore

Silly Mexicans

With all these mexican groups doing protests about the government trying to crack down on illegal immigrants they are only going to get what they don't want. If they would just stay quiet and go about what they would normally be doing, Joe Average American would care. But they insist on holding protests and making a stink about it and that mean that Joe Average American is going to get pissed at them and want the government to crack down on them.

From my point of view living down here, it's out of control and citizens and legal immigrants are the ones that are paying for it. Got a illegal kid that wants to go to school, that's fine. Want to get government support for your family, forget about it, unless you're an immigrant.

All these protests are going to bite them in the ass I think. There illegal immigrants, illegal means breaking the law. They are felons. Don't agree with me, fine, you're probably the same person who says it was ok for Barry Bonds to take steroids back in the day since it wasn't illegal in baseball. But it was illegal by our country. I think our government laws trump baseballs rules. Ok, I'm getting off track now, I'll be quiet.

Official Press Release

March 24, 2006

Re: The Fever

Grub Fever 06: Grub Fever II the electric boogaloo

It is offical. Still no cure for the fever.






Well neeedless to say this wasn't the slogan I was going for this year. This fever won't reach pandemic levels. I thought Grub Fever 06: Brokeback Grub would be the choice. Also other rumored contenders were: Grub Fever 06: Popozoa Grub and Grub Fever 06: Dancing with The Grub. Grub Fever 06: Dance Dance Grubalution, Grub Fever 06: Aint no holler back Grub, and Grub Fever 06: Coast to Coast were also under consideration.

I don't think I'll have the fever this year. Maybe just the Flu, Grub Fever 06: Grub Flu

March Porn-ness

Bad news for Adam Morrison, his basketball team, Gonzaga, lost last night in the NCAA tourney. While he won't get that award, he still has a chance to win the John Wooden award for the best basketball player in the country. If he wins that, he can put it right next to his AVN awards.


Worst porn stache ever!!!!

Brackets Implode

Well my brackets are done, I'm not going to win the pool, no way no how. I still have 4 of my elite 8 left, 2 of my final 4, and both teams still in the finals. So I guess in a way I could pull it out of my arse.

BTW if you're a serious hard core better. Pick Michigan to win the NIT. You have to be really hard core to care about that.

So cool...

Was listening to this guy talk tonight and he thought he was the coolest guy in the world since he went a celebrity golf tournament this weekend. Some of the people there were Dick Van Patten, that guy from "Med Center", Al from Home Improvement, Former LA Ram QB Vince Feragano, and he also mentioned that he got to hang with the sheriff from "Murder She Wrote" during the casino night. Talk about an action packed night. It's funny how these people get away with the term celebrity.

Called my mom tonight and asked her if she went to the big immigrant rally in downtown milwaukee. I thought I'd throw a good zinger at my mom with that one, but she got me when she asked me why should would go, "I'm not latino" my mom said. I was shocked, I asked her if she was sure she wasn't latino and she reminded me she wasn't. I thought she was. My bad, I'll go cry now.

Falling off the deep end....

Ok, so I'm falling off the deep end of life and I know. So does that make it any better?

Went and got another peticure today and it felt good as usual. It's nice having my feet rubbed down and feeling as soft as a baby's bottom. Well not that I know how smooth a baby's bottom is. She's got the creeks worked out of my feet, not sure wtf that means. Also she mentioned something about release points and how the feet release points are in the head. Yeah I could feel what she was talking about, was it the release points or the fact that a woman was taking care of my feet at the time. I don't know.

Seinfeld tonight was the clip show that they did either right before the series finale or right after the series finale. How I miss that show.

Lost wasn't anything special tonight. It was basically a filler show and just nudged the plot along, nothing special happened.

Dungeon Master

So some guy kidnaps a couple of girls and throws them into a dungeon. Well the local news does a little spot about it and they show the picture of the guy who did this. Under his picture they put the term "dungeon keeper"! Why couldn't they of been mucher cooler and called him the dungeon master. All the dungeons and dragons people would of loved it.

Now they are doing a news story about mothers that just gave birth who are trying to lose weight by doing meth. All the women they are showing in this report are cracked out ghetto whores. I would of never of guessed that people do meth in the hood. Then they show another woman and in the report she is scene with her common law husband. So what, they can't just say husband, they gotta throw in common law to make either him or her feel better. I can see the common law husband getting shit from the guys at work. They're probably like, "You got a cracked out ghetto ho of a wife" and the common law husband's answer of course is, "Dude, she's not my wife"

WBC Update

Not sure if everyone is keeping up with the world baseball classic since the USA is out of it, but the big news came from last nights game, Japan defeated Korea. Why is this so damn important, cause everyone's favorite player from Japan, Fukudome, hit a 2 run home run to make sure the Japan made it to the WBC finals and Fukudome got 1 step closer to winning the whole thing and when that happens, Fukudome-mania is going to run wild around the world. Fukudome will be chanted all the time, Fukudome, Fukudome!!!! People will be chanting it even when he's not around. I saw this movie once where this guy told this woman he was going to fukudome. Not sure if Fukudome can be used as a verb, but what do I know.

Special Powers

So at the store we have things just like any normal house that you can't open, mostly jars. Well being the token guy most of the time I'll get asked to open these sealed jars. But to do this I need to call upon my special powers. So before I open the jar and depending on if there are customers are in the store, I'll yell out, "By the power of grayskull, I have the power" and then I'll open the jar. Don't think I've just done this once or twice, I do it all the time. I think it's getting to Jennifer though, but if I don't do it, I won't have the power!!!!

I might be wrong

I'll admit I might be wrong, Family Guy is a show I could get into. I didn't get Seinfeld while it was on the air, now I get it. I didn't get Family Guy last time I watched it, maybe I should give it another try. With a clip like this, I know it's got the same type of humor that I like:

Press Your Life.....eerrrr I mean Luck

News!!!!!

Peter Tomarken, the host of the 1980s game show "Press Your Luck," died Monday morning when a small plane carrying him and two other passengers crashed in the Pacific Ocean.According to news reports, Tomarken, 63, and two other people were aboard a Beechcraft 36 when it hit the ocean near the Santa Monica Pier a little after 9:30 a.m. Monday. The pilot reported engine failure not long after the aircraft's takeoff from Santa Monica Airport, a couple of miles inland from the crash site.


So they always say that before you die, your life flashes in front of you. Do you think before he died a whammy appreared in his head and the whammy was flying a plane and laughing. I think that's what happened. Big Bucks no crashes, stop.............whammy......

ghetto cheerleader

Oh yeah, she's a ghetto cheerleader and proud of it!!!!

They are going to f it up.....

So I'm watching a entertainment report about how they might be doing a "Dallas" movie. That's fine with me. John Travolta might be JR Ewing, that's fine. But shit, they really want to fuck it up, rumor is Sue Ellen, might be played by Jennifer Lopez. Ahhhhh when I think of a rich oil tycoon's wife from Texas of all places, I don't think of J-Lo. The thing is, Texas women have big hair, not a big ass. But it is a nice ass, I'd tap it!

Best part of Sopranos

Meadow Soprano doing a striptease!!! Hot Cheese!!!!

Baseball Pics

Here's some more random pics from while my mom was in town



Dotrelle Willis on the mound, he sucked it up













Jason Veratek taking the pitch. He hit the ball out for a grand slam. Got the picture of the pitch, just not the hit, just my luck.









Team USA celebrates the grand slam










A-Rod comes up to bat. He made an out.







Team Mexico and South Africa stand for there national anthems. South Africa is closest to the camera









Random Mexico vs. SA action








More random action







Ben Sheets on the mound sucking it up









Brewers vs. A's action






see above

Silly Kids

Nobody said the Mexican baseball fans were the smartest. I saw someone with this jersey on. I tried to take a picture of it, but it was blurred. But the bottom line is that you can buy this and if you do, I'll call you a dumb fucking mexican!!!! Please this guy is the worst player of all time. At first I thought that maybe the guy was trying to be funny, but no, he's serious.




Please understand the Erubiel Dur-sucko was perhaps the worst player of all time, plus he was selfish. When he use to play for the D-backs, the team asked him to switch to right field so they could get him into the lineup every day. He said no.

Picture Time

Here's pics from the Brewers vs. Japan. Not to many people at the game since it really wasn't advertised that much since the WBC came down late, but that meant we got real good seats. We were right behind the brewers dugout, first row behind it. Little side not, Gorman Thomas was at the game and does he look beatin down!!!!





View of the outfield from our seats







The stands before the game started








I think this is either Fukudome or Ichiro batting













Jennifer enjoying the game









Some random Brewer on base









The start of the sausage race









The sausages passing by our seats










The finally of the race








Me chilling with the sausages







I'm throwing some gang signs to my homies, for some reason my mom thought it would be a good idea to flip the gang members off. I guess she doesn't know that west side is in the house!!!!

Fukudome!!!!!

Went and saw the Brewers play the Japanese national team. They are here waiting for the second round of the world baseball classic. So while they are waiting, they are playing some games with some of the spring training teams that practice down in AZ. Not to bad of a game, but I figured out who my favorite baseball player from japan is, Fukudome, sorry I didn't get his first name, I know it wasn't Mother Fukudome!!! So every time he would come up to bat, I would let everyone know that Fuk-U-Dome was up, I was pronouncing it Fuk-U-Dum!!!!

BTW it finally rained here today. It's been raining for about 12 hours now. We lasted 143 days and I hope we can start out new streak tomorrow.

Working...

Been busy entertaining my mother while she has been here. Promise I'll post some pics soon. Went and saw the brewers lose to the A's yesterday. Take out Ben Sheets and the brewers would of won. Today we're going to some damn zoo and after that we are going to go see the brewers take on Team Japan. So it will be 4 dfferent stadiums in 3 days and also 7 different teams in that span and 5 of them were international all star teams. Not that the South Africa team had anyone on it that I have ever heard of, but it's there all star team, so good for them!!!

Machines

Me and my mom are machines. We went to the US vs. Canada game this afternoon and then high tailed it across town and went to the Mexico vs. South Africa. Will have comments and pictures about it tomorrow. The good thing is that the whole apartide thing in south africa isn't in effect anymore there or on there baseball team

Incoming....

Well my mom is coming into town tomorrow and staying here for a week. What she will be doing while she is here, I have no idea. I'm sure we will go to some baseball games and take in some fun. Every time my mom comes into town or I go home and visit her we some how get into a fight. I try to go out of my way to not get into a fight with her, but some how it will happen. Just give it time.

While she is down here I'm going to give her a project. She will get to redecorate the spare bathroom. There isn't anything special in there right now, so she can't really screw it up.

If you're like me and you want to see the winter olympics spiced up, click here and check out a great site that wants to make it a better thing.

I'm Kenny Rogers...

I'm so Kenny Rogers. I went and played in my first poker tournament last night. I never play poker, I have been known to watch it a little on tv, so doing this last night was interesting to say the least. Other then the fact that I didn't know how to bet correctly and didn't do good chip or card placement at times, things turned out pretty good. My goal was to not be the first person eliminated at my table, well I wasn't. I wasn't even eliminated from my first table. The first person eliminated from my table was some woman who left in a huff when she got killed by the shared cards. Going into it, it looked like she had it won, but got screwed. Oh well, she was a big talker, so screw her. Once enough people are eliminated on all the tables, they break other tables up and move people around. So for instance if there are 10 tables with 10 people at each table, when 10 people are eliminated they take people from 1 of the tables and insert them into other tables and close a table. So I made it past 4 table moves and lasted over 3 hours in the tournament. I was getting to the point of knowing that I needed to go home cause Jennifer was out playing slots, so I started taking more chances. It got me eliminated, but it was a good time. 201 people started out and I was in the final 75 people. I might of done better then that, but they don't do a countdown every time someone is out.

How and Who???

How does something like this happen. You can win something so bad, it can't be true. Feel free to click here and you can enter to win a chance to win Ms. Piggy's autographed cowboy boots. Ok, so how does she wear these boots and the real question is, who the fuck really thinks she signed these. She isn't real, it's worthless!!! I wonder if it comes with a certificate of authenticity to I can sell it on ebay!!!!

The who part of this is, who the hell wants to win this contest. If they think we are really going to fall for this and think it's real, why not next time offer to be able to have sex with her!!!

Good dinner, better view

Went to a new restaurant tonight and it's a fire fighter theme to it. Good food, good theme, but the best part about it is the staff. No where have I seen a place like this. When you go to Hooters you get to see some nice young firm girls with nice breasts. But this place is like the MILF Hooters!!!! Never have I seen so many hot MILFs working in one place then this. I was in heaven, just a different kind of heaven

Iraqi Idol

They're doing Iraqi Idol over in Bagdad, but it's not only a singing show, it's a talent show. Can you dance, be a comdeian, or have a special talent. It works on Iraqi Idol. Here's a photo from the show tonight and it show's the crowd's reaction to a comedian's joke:




Iraqi Comedian: So 2 Iraqi's walk into a bar......Don't you think the second one would of ducked.

New Drug

Lost is my drug of choice right now, I love the show. Nothing really sparks my interest like that show does, it makes me think about what's really going on on the island.

But when I don't want to think, I've found my stupid tv show, Deal or No Deal. There is nothing to this show, it doesn't matter if you are dumb or smart, nothing matters. I guess it all matters about how greedy u are. But that's it!!! Heard an interview with Howie Mandel and he admited that he doesn't even know the model's names. He just says some name and ta-da, they react. What a life!!!!