Dear...

Dear Customer,

Hey it's great and everything that you're wearing a cardinals jersey and trying to support the local team. But lets be honest, it's time to get a new jersey. The Eric Swann jersey that you have on isn't cutting it anymore. Eric hasn't played since 2000 and that was with Carolina. Drop the $60 and get something new. Maybe you don't like the new uniform look, ok that's fine and you want to go with a retro look, may I suggest you get a Pat Tillman jersey. That's a good one that you can wear all the time with pride.

BTW, another memo to a different customer. Don't wear a budwiser shirt and a shlitz hat. They don't mix.